


Just Like Heaven

by ButterflyBunny



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, I do not know how to tag, Jane gets drunk a lot, Loki Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers (2012), Romance, Soulmates, but it's Darcy's fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4992793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyBunny/pseuds/ButterflyBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In what he considers her last attempt to fix him, Frigga pleads for Loki to be forgiven. Instead, his father casts him out of Asgard. Thor makes everything worse by asking a mortal to take  him in.</p>
<p>To be honest he prefers to rot in a cell, but there is something about Jane Foster that's so familiar even though they had never met before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Whatever the heart knows, its not telling me

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing after The Avengers movie had happened. Frigga is dead, by some decease or maybe an accident? Whatever you wish, really.

He had only felt that heartache two times in his very long life. More recently when his mother died, when that guard had told him through the glass Loki had felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time, it was as if a hole had taken place in his chest and was swallowing everything inside of him. the first time had been centuries before that, almost a millenium before, when his darling Sigyn had left him. He remembers the pain, the salty tears running down his cheeks, her hands, cold as he held them softly and took them to his chest. He remembers the anger that came afterwards and the feeling of loneliness that stayed with him and refuse to leave until one day he realised he could live with it.

Now the burning sensation in his chest was there again, his heart struggling to beat as he stood infront of his father, his brother and the entire court. Sif was the only one who didn’t look at him as if he was an abomination and Loki almost felt bad that she was so foolishly blind, it was as if she still thought of him as her childhood friend, the one who always fought with her only to let her win, the stupid child who always bought her souvenirs from his travels for her birthday and the mischievous man she cleverly named Silvertongue. He noticed that Thor had taken a place next to her, and then he held her hand in a very intimate fashion.

He had to look away.

That morning he woke up and there was a guard saying that he was going to be taken to his old chambers. He was bathed and dressed in nice robes, after that, Thor was outside of his chambers, to escort him wherever they were taking him. For a second, Loki was pretty sure he was going to be executed, like during the dark ages, then he saw his father and the royal court, a group of elders with whom his father once argued about war - about two hundred years ago - he hadn’t seen or heard of them ever since. They weren’t called just for some execution, so this was of great importance.

When Odin spoke, and explained the nature of his presence there his breathing hitched. Before her death, his mother had invoked an clause from one of the oldest books in Asgard. Loki, being raised as the son of Odin, was going to be exiled instead of incarcerated.

“Therefore” One of the judges spoke, “Loki Odinson-“

“Laufeyson” Loki said, his tone monotone, and he almost grinned at the way the entire audience shuddered.

“Loki” Odin said in a warning tone.

“Silence” the judge said louder, “Loki Odinson” he said, and Loki clenched his jaw, “Is to be exiled”

“Hel?” Loki asked quickly.

“Midgard”

Three things happened as soon as the words were spoken. The audience started mumbling and hissing, Thor yelled something at his father and Loki’s chest felt heavier and heavier as his eyes danced around the room.

“You dare exiling him to the same planet he almost helped destroyed?!” Odin yelled, and Thor, of course, agreed with him. “Don’t you know how foolish you sound?” Odin said to the Elder.

“Father, calm down!” Thor started, walking towards the man.

“Thor” Sif pressed her hand on his chest, and Thor immediately looked at her, “Wait” She said.

“You dare question, not only me, but thousand year old scrolls?” the judge said, and when he stood up he stood five inches taller than Thor himself. He then raised his hand and Mjolnir answered to his call. Loki, like the rest of them, couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Loki Odinson, shall be stripped from his magik and sentenced to life as a mortal-“

“Perhaps I could decline your… benevolence and chose death” Loki said, his fists clenched so hard his knuckles were white.

“Life as a mortal, in Midgard” The man finished, ignoring Loki, “May you live the rest of you life in the search for peace and forgiveness” he then let the hammer fall.

While he was being escorted back to his chambers, where he would spent the last night of his immortal life, he could see everyone whispering and muttering but he had already learned not to care. Once in his chambers he saw there was a package on his bed.

“And this?” he asked the guard, who cringed when Loki spoke.

“It- it was left for you” he said.

Loki sighed heavily, “By whom?”

“It was found in the queen’s possessions” the man continued, “It was for you”

Loki nodded and dismissed the man. Once alone he felt something haunted him. The strange, familiar sensation had found a way inside of him and had settled in his chest. He realised, after all this time what it was. That same thing he felt when his mother had left him, the same thing that shook him when Sigyn died. It was fear. Fear of being alone, of dying, fear that it was the way things were destined for him.

He clenched his fists, almost damaging his mother’s gift. Then something warm ran down his cheek.

“I guess I won’t make it another thousand years to get used to it again” he whispered to the empty room.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane hated that stupid van. She hated the sound it made when she turned the engine on, she hated the smell the seats had, that the radio never worked and that it broke down every god-dammed time she really needed it.

“I’m telling you, this thing hates me” Jane yelled at the phone.

“ _She’s a cheap girl, Jane, I told you not to put Premium on it_ ” Darcy whispered on the other side of the phone.

“I didn’t I- Why are you whispering?” Jane asked.

“ _Why are you yelling?_ ” Darcy retorted, “ _Plus, It’s like four p. m., I-_ “

“Where are you, Darcy?” Jane asked, “Oh, god, no!” she exclaimed, “You are with that intern guy aren’t you?”

“ _yup_ ” Darcy confirmed.

“But it’s like 4-“ Jane sighed, “You slept with him?!”

“ _Could you just like chill for a sec?_ ” Darcy asked, “ _Just take him to the shop, the one in fourth avenue, I took my car there and they gave it back to me like new!_ ”

“Is it going to be expensive?” Jane asked.

“ _Oh, come on!_ ” Darcy laughed, and then continued whispered, “ _You are a known scientist and you make tons of money_ ”

“If I did I would have already bought another car” Jane explained, “listen, I’m going to that shop, so-“

“ _Great, bye_ ” Darcy was about to hang up.

“Don’t think we are not going to talk about it” Jane yelled.

“ _I’ll pass by you apartment tonight_ ” Darcy said, “ _Bye, love you_ ”

“Love you too” Jane said.

Jane sighed heavily and continued driving in silence. It had been weeks since she had a good night of sleep and she was tired. She gripped the steering wheel when she heard a thunder. When she looked up she realised the skies had turned dark grey in a matter of seconds, she sighed heavily while she parked in the corner of the street. Once out of the car the braced herself for what was coming. Thor.

Almost a year ago they had broken up, not really broken up since they had never really dated, but they decided to remain friends. She moved to New York to work at NYU with Erik by morning and by night she continued her research in one of Shield’s laboratories, of course she had taken Darcy with her. Darcy kept working with her but Erik had fallen ill a few months ago and was still delicate so she ended up giving all of his classes. She quickly made a mental note to go visit him, also, to get him some Apple pie with banana ice cream, his favorite.

When she finally saw Thor she smiled widely, only for her smile to fade as soon as she noticed he was not alone. Behind him, Sif offered a small nod, but that wasn’t the problem, it was he man behind Sif who looked around him with disdain.

“Oh, brother, why have you-“ He stopped mid-sentence as his eyes connected to the woman in front of him.

Jane walked towards them, “He’s-“ she asked and Thor nodded, Sif made a pained face, she then looked at the man, “You’re-“

“I am Loki L-“

She slapped him hard, “That was for New York”

Thor and Sif stared in surprise, Loki rubbed his jaw and glared at her, she glared back and then frowned at Thor.

“I could have _hex_ you for that” Loki spitted.

“What is he doing here?” She asked Thor, last time she checked he was suppose to be jailed, “He should be locked in a mental hospital“

“not anymore” Sif said.

“Thor?” Jane asked, “What is he- shouldn’t he be in jail or something”

“Jane” Thor sighed, “I have something to ask from you”

 

* * *

 

 

Jane stared at Thor and then at Loki, who looked away. She searched for Sif, who was on the balcony, playing with an old rubik’s cube she had probably found in Jane’s library. They were in her apartment after a very awkward car ride. And after a few minutes in silence, Thor had explained her the situation.

“Shut. Up.” Jane said, “No _effing_ way”

Loki chuckled, “Not according to you plan” he said to Thor.

“Shut up” Thor and Jane said at the same time.

“You can’t be serious” Jane jumping from the couch, “He could murder me! In my sleep!”

“I wouldn’t touch you to kill you” Loki glared standing up from the couch, looking down at Jane. Jane noticed how tall he was, he was a couple of inches taller than Thor himself. Sif drew her blade to Loki’s neck.

“No Sif!” Thor said, “Loki!”

“She started!” Loki yelled pointing at Jane.

“Seriously? How old are you?!” Jane yelled back, slapping his hand away.

“Much older than you, I deserve respect!” Loki continued.

“Enough!” Thor yelled, and Loki pressed his lips.

Jane threw herself on the couch and rubbed her temples, “Don’t yell at me in my house”

Thor nodded and looked at Loki, “Yeah, don’t yell-“

“That goes for both of you” Jane said crossing her arms, she saw Sif rolling her eyes, a small smile on her lips.

“I apologize” Thor said and then looked at Loki, who shrugged and sat back on the wooden chair infront of Jane.

“It’s fine” Jane sighed standing up and walked towards the kitchen, “I don’t get it, isn’t he crazy?” she asked and Loki’s nostrils flared, She grabbed a bottle with what seemed water, “How can he-“

“I am not crazy” Loki said between his teeth.

“Yes, yes you are” Jane retorted.

They looked like a couple of children but Jane didn’t care, she couldn’t understand why was this happening to her. Maybe it was some sort of joke Thor was playing on her, like april’s fools but from he came from. She noticed Thor and Sif had been arguing something. She stared at them for a while, noticing how close they were, how Sif touched Thor’s arm and how Thor held her hand.

She heard a small sound coming out from Loki, like a huff mixed with annoyance.

“We could have gone to Fury” Sif said to Thor, and Jane closed her eyes and she gripped the bottle harder.

“S.H.I.E.L.D must not find out” Thor told her.

“So, you bailed him out” Jane said, “Or…”

“My mother” Thor explained, walking towards her, “She found some kind of… Loophole? Some sort of protection, he can’t be jailed, so he has to be exiled”

“Here” Jane frowned, “Earth?”

Loki huffed, “Terra, Midgard, call it however you want, I rather be thrown in a cell for the rest-“

“Shut up” Thor and Jane yelled at unison.

“Listen, Lady Jane” Sif approached her this time.

“Just Jane” Jane said, and then drank the whole bottle of water.

Sif waited for her to finish to continue speaking, “Loki had been stripped off his magik” She explained, “Also, Odin put a spell on him, he can’t touch a mortal to hurt them, it would be physically painful for him”

“Of course, that wasn’t part of the deal, but Odin does whatever he pleases” Loki muttered.

“It is only until I know he can be on his own” Thor continued, and Loki rolled his eyes, Thor always with his hero complex, “Heimdall will have an eye on you at all times, if something happens I will be here in a second”

Jane looked at Thor and then at Sif. She couldn’t understand why or how Loki managed to do this but if Thor needed her help she had to help him. She sighed heavily and then started grabbing all the knives from the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“If I’m going to live with a psycho I shouldn’t have pointy things laying around”

At that Thor smiled. She joined them in the balcony while Loki sat still on the living room, if she wouldn’t know better she would say he looked… Scared? Nervous? She shook her head and hugged Thor.

“I will be back” Thor said.

“Right” Jane smiled softly.

“In case he gets difficult” Sif handed her a small dagger without Thor or Loki noticing, “Thor trusts him still way too much” she added.

Once they were gone, she stared at the sky for a seconds, the dark clouds were still there. She pressed the dagger in her hand and then put her in her pockets. She turned to find Loki still in the same position, only this time he looked pail, more than he had been before.

“Are you sick?” She asked.

“Sick?” he scoffed, “I do not-“ he was interrupted by a growl coming from his stomach.

“Hungry, then” Jane did her best to smile.

“I-“

“I’ll tell Darcy to bring something on her way here”

Before Loki could say another rude thing, she locked herself in her bedroom. Her hands were shaking while she dialed her friend.

“Jane, What’s up?” Darcy answered, “I’m on my way“

“Okay, Um… Bring food? Please, burgers or pizza” Jane said.

“Okey dokey” Darcy said, “Something wrong?”

“Something” Jane said.

“I’ll be there in ten” Darcy said.

Jane hung up and then sat on her bed. She threw herself on the bed and grabbed a pillow, putting it over her head bore yelling as loud as she could. She then stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before she realised.

“Sif took my rubik’s cube” she whispered to the empty room.


	2. Her heart is a secret garden with very high walls

Jane left her room and found Loki still on the couch, he was looking around and playing with his hands, he looked pissed, scarily pissed. He reached for the bag that was on the floor next to his feet and pulled out a small box. Jane watched quietly while he looked as if he was debating whether or not opening it.

She had heard terrible things about him while hanging with the avengers, but right now, she couldn’t see that, all she saw was a man who had lost everything, and even if it was his fault she couldn’t help to feel sympathy for him and something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She felt the urge to touch him, to just put her hand on his shoulder so he wouldn’t feel as alone as he probably felt. As he probably was.

Loki ran his fingers over the box, maybe it was a present his mother… Queen Frigga, had gotten him and forgot to give to him. He sighed heavily and then threw it in the bag. Jane felt something inside of her twist, Loki looked almost… sad. Then again, he was cast out of his home planet and forced to live on earth for the rest of his life there.

She sighed and then walked towards the man. She had found some of Erik’s old clothes, in very good state and they looked like they fit Loki.

“Is that all you brought?” Jane asked, the clothes clutched against her chest, "That purse"

Loki stiffened, “It was all I was permitted to bring” he said after a few seconds, "And it's a knapsack"

“Oh”

“That and the robes I’m wearing” He continued, why was he talking to her? she was a mortal, a lesser being, he realised she was staring and looked at her with a glare.

“Maybe some of Erik’s stuff will fit” She said looking at the clothes in her hands, “You are tall as him and-“

“I will not wear some-“

Jane sighed and offered him the clothes, “Just… don’t make this more difficult” she said, and she didn’t really care if she sounded as if she was begging.

Loki knew she was just doing that because Thor had asked her to. Another poor woman his brother had enchanted enough for her to let him use her. He stood up and grabbed the clothes, telling himself it was only because he felt bad she was yet another tool of Thor’s.

Jane smiled to herself and then realised how messy the room was. She had been meaning to pick Erik’s things up but she hadn’t had the time, so there were books all over the floor. She started picking up so she didn’t have to stand there staring at Loki.

“You can use the room that’s on the right” Jane said, “Also, there’s one bathroom so-“

When she turned she noticed Loki was taking his robes off. Her mouth opened and closed while she tried to process everything. Loki took his shirt off, his chest, while not excessively muscular as Thor’s, was very toned, muscular too. Jane noticed Loki had several old looking scars all over his torso, he continued until he noticed Jane was staring at him.

“These are horrible, by the way” He wrinkled his nose at the shirt and put it over his shoulder, he was about to pull his pants down when Jane interrupted.

“What are you doing?” Jane said.

“I am getting into the hideous clothes the lady asked me to” he said, mockingly, frowning when Jane picked his discarded clothes from the floor.

“Yeah, but… not here, you- you can’t get naked and-“

He rolled his eyes as she rambled, so that was it. She felt uncomfortable with nudity, He was about to say that maybe that was another reason why Thor had left her, but somehow he couldn’t. If Thor had left her for being innocent or naive, he was a fool.

“What do you want me to do then?” He asked, annoyance laced with his tone.

“The bathroom is there” Jane said finally.

“I would rather that you showed me my chambers” He said, this time he sounded more tired than annoyed.

“Right, your room…” Jane looked at him, “Where you can dress”

“And undress, yes” Loki sighed heavily, “Without offending the lady’s virtue” he added, his mockingly tone back.

Jane rolled her eyes, “Second door on the right”

The bell made them both jump.

“That’s Darcy”

“I will be in my… Room” Loki said, picking his clothes up and taking his bag with him.

“Yeah, sure” Jane said, “Hey, there’s food and-“ Loki slammed the door before she could finish.

Jane sighed and walked towards the door. She opened slowly and when she saw Darcy smiled widely at her, she smiled back. Darcy shook the pizza box she had in her hands.

“Open up while it’s still warm!”

Jane didn’t open, instead she said, “There’s something- someone inside”

“O...k?” Darcy said slowly, “Well, I brought enough food for everyone so-“

“Don’t freak out” Jane warned, “Please”

Darcy frowned as Jane opened the door slowly and let her friend in. Darcy handed her a pizza box and then put a paper bag over it. Jane turned and kicked the door closed.

“You said pizza and burgers” Darcy said, taking her coat off, “So I brought pizza _and_ burgers” she winked at her.

“Listen, Darcy, Thor came back and-“

“Oh, that’s what this is about” Darcy grinned taking her boots off, “The old flame-“

“No, it’s not like that” Jane sighed, “Look, he has a brother and-”

“What is this beast!?” Loki appeared from behind Darcy making her turn, both woman stare at the man, his pants undone, and Erik’s cat in one hand.

“No. Fucking. Way” Darcy said, and to Jane she sounded more excited than shocked.

Darcy looked at Jane with a smirk on her face. Jane was still wearing the pained expression and her cheeks were burning, while Loki frowned heavily at both women. Jane moved Darcy and took the cat from Loki’s hand. She noticed the animal had scratched his arm several times and chuckled softly.

“Good boy, Catsby” She said, she kissed the top of the cat’s head and narrowed her eyes at Loki.

“Hello, There” Darcy grinned, “I’m Darcy”

“Darcy!” Jane yelled.

“What?” She shrugged, “Thor’s brother, huh”

“No” Loki said, “Long story” he felt uncomfortable, he wasn’t really used to women approaching him that way.

“Darcy, leave him” Jane said, noticing Loki looked quite uncomfortable, “He was leaving to his chambers” she added mockingly and Loki narrowed his eyes.

He walked towards Jane, “Keep that beast away from me” he glared at the cat and then left to his room.

This time Jane was glad he didn’t slammed the door. When she looked at Darcy the woman was grinning widely. She rolled her eyes and grabbed one of the bags over the pizza box that had been long forgotten in the kitchen counter. She pulled one Burger out and took a big bite.

“So” Darcy sat on the kitchen counter and opened the pizza box.

“Long story” Jane said.

“I have time”

“You first” Jane said, “About you know who”

“Ian” Darcy said.

She continued to tell her about how everything started. She had met Ian at one of Tony’s parties over a year ago, Pepper had introduced them and they hit it off right away. They had been seeing for the last two months but nothing had been official until the night before.

“I’m dying for you guys to meet!” Darcy said, before taking a huge bite from her pizza.

“He sounds nice” Jane nodded.

“Now” Darcy said, “Who’s the hottie?”

Jane swallowed her food, “Loki” she said, “Thor’s brother, the maniac who tried to destroy New York”

“Yeah, I know” Darcy nudged her shoulder, “And…”

Jane sighed and started explaining. Darcy’s expression changed to a more surprised one by the second. Without them noticing Loki had been listening to them for a while, he found himself quite annoyed by how many times Jane used the word babysitting, crazy and “weirdo”.

“You do know that it wasn’t all him, right?” Darcy said.

“What do you mean?”

“You know how the scepter affected Erik… It also must have affected him” Darcy explained, and Loki almost thanked her, “Like Ron Weasley in Harry Potter” she added, and Jane groaned, “You know, when he was carrying the locket and-“

“I know what it means, Darcy” Jane chuckled.

He decided not to have dinner, even though he was hungry. He locked himself in the room and sat on the bed. Thor’s woman had forgotten to mention that the room belonged to someone else before. Erik Selvig had left several personal belongings before he… left, wherever he was, including that disgusting beast that had attacked him.

If he had his magik he could easily help Jane clean a little bit. Loki would never said it out loud but there was something about Jane Foster that made him feel all the contrary to uncomfortable. He started walking around the room, reading the spine of the many books there, after a few minutes he decided to sleep. He was tired. Once he laid in his bed he stared at the ceiling, He heard a knock on the door but didn’t answer. With the lights turn off in the room he could see the shadow of the woman’s feet under the door. She stood there for a few seconds. Loki stood slowly from the bed and walked quietly until he was close to the door.

“Darcy left” Jane said with a small chuckle, she had noticed how awkward Loki had gotten around her, “She didn’t take the leftovers though… so there’s for you”

Loki put one hand on his stomach, he was hungry, but he was way more tired. Still his feet wouldn’t move away from the door. Away from her. He put his hand on the door and then his forehead.

“Please, go away” he asked, and he didn’t care if he sounded as if he was begging.

Jane was tired, it had been a long day and it had probably being worse for Loki, Jane put her hand on the door and then her forehead. Something about doing it made her feel better. Maybe she just missed Erik a lot. Or having company at all.

“I-“ She started, “Goodnight” she said.

They both went to their respective beds, Loki felt asleep almost instantly and Jane felt asleep a while after. For the first time in several weeks she was able to get a good night of sleep.


	3. The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings

The stars have always fascinated Jane. Since she was a little girl she would stare at the stars for hours, something about them made her feel… complete, like somewhere in the world there was someone looking at the same stars she was at the exact same moment. When she was little she used to have a recurring dream, something about impossible stars, about a dark sky illuminated by constellations that only existed for her, she memorised them as if it was some kind of message she needed to remember for later, she stopped having them when her parents died. After the accident that was all she dreamed about.

That night she dreamed about the constellations again.

She opened her eyes when Catsby purred near her ear. The constellations still on her mind. She cursed softly when she saw the hour, she always forgot to set her alarm when it was saturday. She stretched on the bed and caressed Catsby’s head softly.

“We are going to see dad today” She said reaching her robe.

“I’m guessing that’s what the google means with cat lady”

She jumped and took her hand to her chest. Loki was leaning against the doorframe, raising one eyebrow at her and her laptop in one of his hands. He looked like he had just taken a bath, his hair wet and slicked back, Jane frowned at him while she tied the robe.

“You are not suppose to enter my room” She scolded.

“Maybe you should write these rules down” He said, “So far is, One: no me getting naked, two: no me in you room…” he counted.

“And three, no you using my things without my permission” She added taking the laptop from him, “And what do you mean ‘crazy cat lady’?”

“I saw it on the google, women who live alone and love cats” Loki said wrinkling his nose to the cat, who was looking at him.

“First of all, I don’t _love_ cats” Jane said, “I’m taking care of Catsby until Erik comes back for him” She started looking for something in the room.

“Right” Loki said as he examined the room, unlike the rest of the house her room was neat, no books or notes all over the floor and no framed pictures, very different to Erik’s room. Probably because she spent more time working than sleeping.

“Second, why do you say ‘the’ google?” She chuckled, kneeling to reached under the bed, “You sound like an old person”, Loki rolled his eyes, “Third” She stood infront of him, “Why were you looking for cat ladies on the internet in my laptop? And at what hour?” She shuddered, “Don’t answer that”

“I was merely feeding my curiosity for midgardian life” Loki explained, “Books proved to be useless, so I used your… laptop”

Jane nodded, “Also, please stop saying ‘midgardians’” she made air quotes.

“Very well” He nodded, he was about to leave when Jane called.

“Loki”

“Jane Foster” he said turning.

“I know this sucks” Jane said, “You have been here for a day and you look like you hate it, I have been here for... more than 20 years and I hate it sometimes” she chuckled nervously, “So… Maybe if you’re not… difficult, it won’t be that difficult”

Loki stared at her. He broke their stare and nodded softly. Of all the midgardians he had met, Jane Foster was by far the kindest one. Even if she loved cats.

“Good” Jane nodded, “Now, I need to shower so…” Loki moved from the door, “You can use the laptop if you want” She said from the bathroom door.

“Jane Foster” Loki called.

“Yes?” Jane asked.

“How much more than 20 years?” He asked then smirked softly, Jane laughed and then closed the door.

When she left the bathroom she heard Loki typing on the laptop somewhere in the living room. She dressed quickly and then went to the kitchen. Loki was siting on the couch near the window, Catsby was purring to him but Loki ignored him.

“Do you want coffee?” She asked.

“No”

“Toast? Eggs?”

“No”

Loki rolled his eyes and continued typing. He had been on the laptop since it was six in the morning, he disliked at lot of human inventions but that was by far one of the best ones. He looked at Jane with the corner of his eye and then continued typing. The cat, Catsby, he chuckled now that he understood the name, was still staring at him. he sighed heavily and after a few seconds he caressed the back of his left ear. The animal purred in content.

“Leave now” he said and went back to his reading.

“Breakfast!” Jane said.

“I-“

“Rule #4” Jane said, “You eat breakfast”

Loki stood up and walked towards the kitchen counter. He sat and stared at the burned toast and poorly cooked eggs. He frowned and then looked at Jane, who seated in front of him with a plate.

“It looks bad, doesn’t it?” Jane asked after a few seconds, noticing the small frown on his face.

Loki blinked several times before he shook his head, “It looks good enough”

Jane sighed and stood up, “Let’s get food outside” she started, she was about to retreat his plate but he grabbed it.

“It looks good enough” he repeated, the idea of going outside didn’t appeal him much, it terrified him actually.

Jane noticed the way he tensed at the mention of going out, she nodded and left the plate in front of him. She then grabbed two mugs filled with coffee.

“Coffee?”

Loki took one of the cups and took a sip, “It’s… bitter”

“Pour some milk in it” Jane said

She handed him a cup filled with milk, when he was reaching it, his fingers brushed against her, something like electricity ran through Loki’s arm, and his chest felt warm as if he had drank a whole bottle of excelsior. The feeling of familiarity he hadn’t felt in so long was odd for him that made him panic. And when Jane frowned concerned he let the milk spill.

“Crap!” Jane said.

Loki’s eyes went wide, “I’m-“

“It’s fine” She smiled, looking for a cloth, “It’s fine” Jane repeated and Loki sighed heavily, “It’s the lack of caffeine, maybe” she grinned.

Loki nodded and she went to wash her hands on the sink, She looked at the hand Loki had touched, she still felt as if she had been teased. She washed them quickly and went back to eat the rest of her not so terrible breakfast.

“What are those?” Loki asked, pointing at the big furniture next to them.

“That is Erik’s vinyl collection” Jane said, Loki blinked, “It’s… They have music inside and-“

Loki rolled his eyes, “I know what vinyls are” he said, Jane chuckled, “I just… I thought they were… out dated”

“They are coming back” Jane said, “Most of these are Erik’s old ones but I bought a few”

Loki nodded, “Is Erik Selvig you lover?”

Jane choked on her coffee and then she laughed, “Oh my God! No!” she exclaimed, “Where did you get that?”

“I thought… Well, he has several of his belongings-“ Loki frowned, he didn’t understand Jane’s reaction, he thought he had offended her but she was laughing, unfortunately it was quite contagious so Loki found himself chuckling softly.

Jane’s warm laughed died down after a few seconds, a sad expression then settled on her face leaving Loki confused.

“After… New York, he was never the same” She said, “He started acting a little bit... crazy” she chuckled sadly, “he was fine for a few months and then he started forgetting things, small things, like his car keys or where he had left his glasses, but then he started forgetting more important things, like where did he work, his address, his name… then he couldn’t even eat alone”

Loki clenched his fists. In a few seconds Jane would remember the fact Erik was like that was his fault and the whole friendly facade he was putting on for Thor would be over.

“He moved in with me after it became harder” Jane said, Loki nodded, that explained the fact that he had a room in her apartment, “I thought it would help, being with someone familiar but… it became worse” Loki blinked, “He couldn’t even pick up a spoon” Jane said, “One day I came from work and he started yelling at me and asking what I wanted and then he locked himself in the room” she swallowed, “The police arrived and almost arrested me” Loki clenched to the mug tighter, “He then opened the door and asked why were they arresting me, ‘she lives here!’ ‘She’s- she’s my daughter’ he said” Jane’s words came out broken, “I lost my parents young, they died in a car accident” she continued, “And I’m a terrible person but… Watching Erik lose himself slowly it’s… somehow worse”

“If I could-“ Loki stopped himself,

If he could what? Go back in time he would fix everything? He wouldn’t toyed with Selvig’s mind?. Loki would never say something like that, he wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t even a good person. But when Jane looked at him, her honey brown eyes connecting with his blue eyes, something told him that holding her would be enough for the both of them.

“So, no, Loki, He’s not my lover” She said with a chuckle, “he’s like a father to me.” She stood up and then grabbed her plate and the mug, putting them in the sink.

She didn’t understand why had she told that to Loki, no one knew about Erik’s first episode except for Darcy, she couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone, but when Loki asked her she had felt the need to tell him. As if he had a way to make her feel better about it.

After breakfast she went to visit Erik. Loki had refuse to leave his room and said that he was going to stay with the laptop and the cat. Jane entered the hospital with a big piece of Apple pie and a pint of banana ice cream in one hand and a bouquet of flowers on the other.

“Jane” A really tall blond woman, Erik’s carer greeted her, “He asked for you and Darcy”

“Great” Jane smiled, “I brought something” she said.

“Oh, he’s going to be so happy” Alicia said, “The flowers are for Peggy, I imagine”

“Yes, ma’am” Jane gave the flowers to Alicia and entered Erik’s room.

She spent all the morning there until it was lunch time and the visits were over. Normally her visits were great but this time Erik rambled a lot more than he usually did, but he ate the pie and the ice cream and remembered Jane. Jane left at noon, and as soon as she arrived home she noticed that Loki had been messing with the vinyls.

She giggled when she found him on Erik’s room sleeping, with a lot of records on the floor. Jane hated to admit it but Loki was a very handsome man, he wasn’t as build as Thor and he wasn’t blond, but there was something about him that called Jane.

Loki felt like he was floating for a second, then he started dreaming, a familiar voice guided him through the gardens of his old home, the white dress flowing with the wind as she followed the star. She giggles, and the star perches on her shoulder.

The sky becomes dark and the loud sound fills his ears, he can’t see her, he can’t hear her. He wasn’t sure it was a dream anymore, it was too real, he could almost smell the flowers around him.

“Sigyn?” he called at her, but she didn’t listen, “Sigyn... no...”

“Loki”

“Please... wait... wa-”

“Loki, I’m here”

“No” He pleaded, “Please”

“Loki!”

When he opened his eyes, brown eyes where looking back at him, Jane’s eyebrows were knitted together in concern, she was about to touch his forehead when he pulled away from her.

“Don’t touch me” he said softly.

Jane nodded, “You were… dreaming”

“Yeah…” Loki looked around, “I was”

“Who’s Sigyn?” Jane asked.

Loki looked at her, he normally shuddered a the mention of her name but he didn’t feel angry when she asked, “An old friend” because that was all that she had been, even if he had wanted more, “Long gone”

“I’m sorry” Jane said.

“It was thousand of yea-“

“Still”

“It’s strange” Loki said, Jane looked puzzled, “I haven’t thought about her…” He looked at Jane, “Nevermind” the woman nodded.

“Do you want to go out tonight?” Jane asked.

“I rather-“

“It’s a very small place, cool, good music” Jane said.

“Why?”

He wanted her to tell him that she was just being polite because of Thor or that she was inviting him out because she didn’t want to cook or because she was terrible at it, instead Jane rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Because it’s Saturday night, Loki”


	4. You travel to search and you come back home to find yourself there

When Loki finished dressing he looked at himself in the mirror. Jane Foster had given him some “normal” clothes for him to wear that night. Some pants that she insisted were “Jeans, everyone wears them” and a very thin cotton shirt. Without his usual clothes he felt naked, unprotected… the only thing he liked were the heavy boots he was wearing.

When he finally left the room he found the woman in the living room. She was pouring some food into the furry beast’s plate. When she looked at him she couldn’t help but smile, he looked very handsome. She shook her head trying to ignore the fact that she had just called her handsome, even if it had been inside her head.

“Darcy is coming” Jane mentioned, she almost laughed at the expression of panic that settled in Loki’s face, “Relax”

“Relax” He repeated

Jane rolled her eyes, but didn’t say anything. It looked like he was making a really big effort to cope so she didn’t want to push. They left her apartment ten minutes later, it was drizzling even though the entire day had been sunny, Jane insisted in walking all the way to the pub since it was a few blocks away. Loki was horrified to find the streets were infested with furry beasts like the one Jane Foster kept at home.

“If they can be thrown out at the streets, why do you keep one with you?” Loki asked, the first time he spoke since they left the apartment.

“That’s cruel” Jane answered, “Poor things must be freezing” she remarked her words hugging herself, she was wearing a horrible purple peacot dress that looked warm enough, “What?” She asked, feeling Loki’s stare on her. 

“Nothing” Loki looked away.

“You are not cold?”

“No” He truly wasn’t, strange enough.

“I left a jacket for you but you forgot it”

“I don’t mind”

They continued walking and Loki wondered how was Jane Foster able to walk faster than him with the type of shoes she was wearing, he had noticed plenty of women wore them. Heels. He wondered who was the inventor of such torture devices and why did women agreed to wear them.

They arrived a few minutes later, turns out the pub was very close to where they… Jane lived. Jane took her peacot off and left it on the entrance. She was wearing a black dress under it, and Loki wouldn’t say it out loud, but he could see why this woman had called Thor’s attention. Loki looked around at the place and then followed her. It looked very… Warm. There was people but not as many for him to feel uncomfortable.

“Darcy will be here in a few minutes” She frowned at him, he looked lost in thought until she sat, “You want to order something?” Jane asked.

“No" 

“You haven’t eaten anything after that horrible breakfast I made you swallowed” Jane joked, a small nervous chuckle.

Loki looked at her and then sighed, “Some rum will be fine”

Jane laughed, “Food first, Loki”

“Don’t mother me” He retorted annoyed, Jane felt a stab of guilt, anyways if the man wanted to drink after the shitty week, who was she to stop him.

They were interrupted by a plump woman that had a menu in her hands, “Jane”

“Marlene” Jane smiled, “How’s George?” 

“That lazy assed whimp, he’s at home” The woman, Marlene, answered, “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you” Jane smiled and Marlene chuckled, “And your carrot cake”

Marlene laughed and nodded, “Coming out” she then looked at Loki, “Who’s the handsome fellow?” 

“That’s- um- he’s-“

“Loki” Loki streched his hand, Marlene shook it, “Jane’s co-worker” he added, to Jane’s surprise, “Pleasure” Ok, he was getting weird now.

“All mine, sugar” Marlene said, “So, you are taking Jane out, finally”

“After a long week of persistance” Loki smirked and then winked, He winked at the woman, Jane’s jaw dropped.

“Well, let me bring you some cake and… two beers? On the house” Marlene excused herself.

Jane stared in surprise as Loki smiled at the woman. She knew that he was a good pretender but she almost believed he had actually liked Marlene. Loki then raised and eyebrow to her.

“What? I can be polite”

“That was good” Jane narrowed her eyes, “too good” she added, “Marlene believed everything you said, and my co-worker? You don’t even know what I do” 

“Thank you” Loki shrugged, “they don’t call me Silvertongue for nothing”

Jane laughed loudly, throwing her head back, Loki stared at her neck for a few seconds, “Silvertongue” she said.

“Also, I read all of your research last night, I know what you do” Loki added, he did know, and Jane Foster’s research was a very accurate one, “Impressive”

Jane suddenly blushed, “Thank you” her phone then rang, she pulled it out of her bad and sighed, “Hey, we are-“ she frowned, “Yes, sure, it’s fine” Loki noticed her tensing, “Darcy, it’s cool, yes… okay, love you too”

She hung up just when Marlene came back, with two pieces of carrot cake and a jar with beer in it. She left two glasses with them and then left.

“Darcy’s sick” Jane said, serving herself some beer, “She’s probably staying with her-“ she looked at Loki, “Nevermind”

“We leave then” Loki said, standing up, Jane felt bad for making him feel uncomfortable, or better said, making him feel like she was uncomfortable being alone with him.

She put her hand on his’, the feeling of familiarity jolting through her arm and the warmness she had felt before settling in her chest, “let’s stay” she said.

Loki took his hand away and nodded slowly, he sat again and looked at the cake, “What is this made off”

Jane shrugged, already a piece in her mouth, “It’s good, try it”

“if I get food poisoned-"

“I will carry you to the hospital myself” She raised and eyebrow.

Loki swallowed and took the fork that rest on the left side of the plate. He examined the content of the cake, it looked moist. He heard Jane chuckling while taking a sip of her beer. He sighed and cut a piece.

“Here comes the airplane” Jane chanted slowly.

He took it to his mouth and let the flavor embrace his tongue, it was… good. Jane winked at him then and he almost choked on the surprisingly delicious “carrot cake”. Jane pushed the glass with beer in it towards him and he took a long gulp.

“Slow down” Jane said, yet he didn’t, swallowing the whole pint in a few seconds, “Whoa”

He wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, “Good”

They continued drinking while arguing Jane’s “surprisingly accurate theory” like Loki remarked every time he made a point. After twenty minutes they ordered the rum Loki had asked for at the beginning. After half an hour, Jane’s cheeks felt like burning, the alcohol clouding her mind and a warmness spreading through her chest. Loki felt surprise to be affected by the small quantity of alcohol he had ingested, the dozen of empty glasses on the table said the contrary.

He would never admit that he was, in fact, enjoying himself doing a thing so… mundane as drinking in a pub. He liked when Jane laughed, and the way she defended her job being in such a state, with blushed cheeks and dragging words as she did so. He noticed she had honey eyes and a small beauty mark on her cheek. Also, the band that had been playing for the last en minutes was good. They reminded Loki of Thor’s stupid friends. A middle age woman singing and three men with beards and funny clothes playing the instruments. 

“That’s my husband” Marlene told Loki, “On the bass” Loki nodded, what was a bass?, “Enjoying yourselves?” Marlene asked, leaving another pint for Loki, Jane shook her head politely.

“Very much” Jane said, “I think I want to dance” she added.

Marlene laughed and winked at Loki. Who stared at Jane with the corner of his eyes. the woman left and Jane stood up, she walked towards the small space in the middle of the pub, where a couple other people dance.

Jane didn’t seem to mind dancing along, moving he head slowly and her eyes closed. Loki took a long sip of his pint while observing her, he had seen beautiful women before, far more beautiful than he had considered Jane Foster at first, but now there was something about her. And maybe it was the alcohol going through is body but he stood up and walked towards her.

 

_I have spoke with the tongue of angels_

_I have held the hand of a devil_

_It was warm in the night_

_I was cold as a stone_

 

And she smiled at him, her eyes shiny and dreamy.

 

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for_

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for_

 

He stood behind her dumbly, not knowing what to do. Loki had never danced before, most women preferred dancing with the future king of Asgard than with his awkward brother.

Jane looked at him, he looked like his mind was somewhere else for a few seconds, and she smiled softly at him, for some reason she wanted him to be there with him. She took his hands, big and warm, trying her best to cover them with her much more smaller ones.

 

And his lips curved upward.

 

_You broke the bonds_

_And you loosed the chains_

_Carried the cross of my shame_

_Oh my shame, you know I believe it._

 

She then closed the small distance between them and she felt him embrace her, her head against his chest, listening to his heart beating. It felt so… right.

And maybe it was.


	5. Somewhere deep in my mind, deep in my heart.

After their night out Loki started acting more friendly. Jane wasn’t sure friendly was the word but he was very polite towards her, nicer. He even offered to help clean the living room as long as the cat stayed away from him. They did talked a lot more too, mostly about some TV show or movie he had seen in the computer or on TV, when he stayed up late looking for something to do.

They had similar taste in music and books. Jane was surprised to find out Loki had read almost every popular and not so popular book ever written by humans and that he enjoyed old time rock music. One thing he refused to do was going outside, Jane had gotten him to go to the park just once, it resulted in Loki getting lost and being arrested after he tried to “steal a phone”. He actually believed that he could just go into a store grab one a leave.

Weeks had passed and Thor hadn’t communicate with her. Not directly. He had sent her a message with another asgardian, asking her how everything was going. She had answered vaguely, it was fine, nothing out of the ordinary and that he could take his time finding Loki a new place. In fact, she was more that okay with Loki staying with her a few more days.

She would never say it out loud but she _liked_ him.

Loki could hear Jane pacing back and forward in the kitchen. It was sort of a routine of hers, she woke up, fed the beast, took a bath and then made breakfast for both of them. He hadn’t realise that he had gotten so use to living with her even though it had only been a few weeks. He liked Jane. They spent a lot of time watching movies or listening to music together, that was whenever she wasn’t working, she often fell asleep on the couch but Loki liked having her around. Without him noticing Jane Foster had managed to get under his skin, in the best way.

He sighed heavily trying to shake that thought away.

They spent a lot of time together, since he didn’t like to go out and Jane was working in her room half of the time, sometimes Darcy Lewis came and Jane gave most of her attention to her but the last two times she had visit, Darcy had included him in their movie nights. He enjoyed when he asked her something about a TV show or a movie and she showed him. They spent a lot of time listening to music they both happened to enjoy, deep inside Loki wanted to ask her to dance like they had done that night a the pub, but he never dared.

She was having breakfast while she waited for Darcy to call her. It was Erik’s birthday and they were suppose to go visit him. this time they could stay all day with him, she was told he was in a better more lucid state of mind.

“You need to shave” She mentioned when Loki appeared, she didn’t know he could grow a beard. More like a stubble, actually.

“Yes” Loki nodded, he ran a hand through his jaw, thing was he didn’t know how to, there was people who did that for him, “Can you?” he dared to ask, examining Jane’s reaction.

“I don’t shave” Jane said and then chuckled, “I mean-“

“I never shaved before” Loki added, “I had people who did that for me”

Jane stared at him, “Oh” she said, she returned her sight to her plate “I guess I could”

She had done it before for Erik, once his condition had worsened. It was one of the last things she had done for him before he asked her to let him go with professionals who could help him.

“I could do it now” Jane said after a few seconds, she looked at Loki with the corner of her eye. The man only nodded.

In the bathroom there was a box with the things she needed. After she left the bathroom she found Loki in the same sitting position on the couch, he was reading another book he had found a few day before. Jane dragged one of the wooden chairs of the kitchen towards the living room, where there was more light.

“Come here” Jane asked.

Loki nodded. He left the book on the couch and walked towards her. He swallowed when she pulled out a razor blade that looked very sharp.

“If you are going to kill me, do it quickly” he said, sitting on the chair.

Jane laughed, “I wouldn’t do that” she said, “Catsby would miss you”

Loki wrinkled his nose at the animal, who was rubbing himself on his leg and purring, he completely understood the beast’s admiration for him but he still disliked the little thing.

“The more you reject him, the more he will bother you” Jane chuckled.

She put a towel on his shoulder, like they did in the movies whenever they shaved someone.

“I saw that on Sweeney Todd” Jane said with a grin, they had seen the movie a few days back, when Loki asked her how enjoyable musicals were.

“Hilarious” He said.

Jane rolled her eyes and sighed. She put the shaving cream on him, rubbing her hands over the line of his jaw softly. Closer like they were she remembered again how handsome he was, how pale his skin was and how soft to the touch. She put one hand on his shoulder and her knee between his parted legs. The most comfortable position she could find and began shaving him.

“Tilt you head to the left a little bit” She whispered, her lips so close to his lips.

“That’s how I go” Loki said, making Jane chuckle, he smiled softly.

“Don’t make me laugh” Jane said.

For some reason she started shaking when she ran the razor on his neck. Loki grabbed her hand providing some steadiness and looked at her. Jane remembered that Sif had told her about Odin’s spell on him. He wasn’t aloud to touch anyone to harm them. Yet, he was there holding Jane’s wrist.

“I won’t harm you” Loki said.

“I know” Jane looked at him in the eye. And she meant it.

Loki let go of her wrist and put his hand on her hip for a fraction of second. Then he reminded it was Thor’s woman he was touching. It was someone else’s woman that was so close to him, touching his shoulder so lightly, while she did something so intimate like shaving him.

But it wasn’t.

Jane Foster wasn’t anyone’s. Smart, strong, beautiful, yet she was no one else’s. But Loki wished she was. He wished she was his’.

“Almost done” Jane said.

So he closed his eyes and relaxed, letting her do whatever she wanted with him. She could have sliced his throat and he wouldn’t have cared, because while she finished, in his mind he was with her. he wasn’t the monster she and everyone else thought he was and she wasn’t Thor’s old flame, he was just Loki and she was just Jane.

“There you go” Jane’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

He stood up and walked towards the nearest mirror. He looked like himself again, not that he had ever stopped being, even if he had wished it. Jane’s reflection smiled at him, and he nodded at her.

“Thanks” he said.

“You are welcome” Jane smiled, “I could cut you hair a little bit too”

Loki chuckled, “You wish you were that lucky” And Jane laughed.

A knock on the door made him jump. Jane walked towards the door and opened. Darcy Lewis had arrived with another male friend. Ian something, he introduced himself to Jane.

“Hello” Darcy grinned at him.

“Miss Lewis”

“Darcy is just fine, Loki” She said, “Looking good, all shaved and stuff”

“She shaved me” Loki said, Darcy snorted and looked at Jane, who had turned red in a matter of seconds.

“She shaved you” Darcy said.

“So?”

“Nothing” Darcy shrugged, “You look good” She finished.

“I’m going to change, give me ten minutes” Jane left to her room.

“Five!” Darcy yelled, “The ice cream will melt!”

When she heard Jane’s door close she turned to at Loki, who had gone back to his book. Darcy and Ian sat with him. Darcy turned the tv on and started looking for something.

“So… You are Dr. Foster’s boyfriend” Ian was the one who spoke, Darcy snorted.

“No” Loki said simply, puzzled by Darcy’s reaction.

“Oh” Ian nodded, “So… You just live here?”

“She used to date my brother, he bailed me out of jail and asked her to let me crash here a couple of days” Loki grinned at him.

The poor man looked shock for a few seconds, it wasn’t until Darcy laughed that he reacted. Loki smiled and went back to his book. He had, after all told the man the truth… A version of the truth.

“I don’t understand” Ian said, “Is that a joke?”

“He’s so not kidding” Darcy said, barely understandable above her laughing.

Loki smiled wickedly at Ian, who chuckled nervously.

Darcy, Jane and Ian left the apartment ten minutes later, leaving Loki to his own devices. Jane thought about inviting him to come along but it would have been a rather awkward situation.

They spent the rest of the afternoon with Selvig and returned when the sun was already going down. Jane had brought him food from some restaurant they had gone to. To Loki’s surprise Jane Foster seemed to have been drinking. The same light blush on her cheeks and glassy eyes.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he finished his food.

“Fine” She said with a goofy smile, she was sitting across him on the kitchen counter, she had been quiet but she seemed to be observing him.

Loki frowned at her, “You seem… out of it” he said and crossed his arms.

Jane mirrored his actions and glared playfully at him, “Fine” she said and let out a sigh, “Darcy forced me to do shots” she threw he hands in the air, “There you go”

“Ok” Loki nodded, Jane barely left the house so it was good for her to have fun.

“What did you do all afternoon?” Jane asked, she was now walking clumsily towards the living room, taking her jacket off and leaving it on the floor.

“I read” he answered, walking behind her, “Watched some television”

“I left you alone for the first time in weeks and you watch TV and read” Jane said, she then giggled, like a child, “If you didn’t spend so much time in the shower, Loki, I would assume you didn’t have certain… needs” she giggled again.

Loki observed her while she walked towards the vinyl player. He then realized what she had meant. Masturbation. That’s what Jane assumed he would do once she left. And so cleverly found out he did in the showers sometimes. Once or twice he had pleasured himself, yes, but it wasn’t out of the ordinary.

An old timey song filled the room suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. Jane started dancing, a rather funny dance, in the middle of the living room.

“Come here, let’s dance” Jane said, grabbing his hands, “You have big hands” she mentioned.

“Family trait” he said staring at her.

She did her best to make him move but he just stood there, watching his hands over hers. Then Jane slapped him with his own hand, leaving him in shock.

“You-“

“Dance” She said, more like ordered

Loki pressed his lips. And then she slapped him again.

“Stop it, Jane”

“Fine” she narrowed her eyes, and let his hands go, “You don’t wanna dance…” She took a few steps back, “You want to fight”

Before Loki would react, she pounced over him. Surprisingly enough she managed to throw him on the couch, making them both fall on the floor afterwards. She rolled over him, both arms on each side of his head, panting softly.

Loki could feel her breath on his lips, so close that he thought she was going to kiss him, and oh god he wanted her to kiss him. She closed the distance inch by inch and then… her head fell on his shoulder and he heard her snort softly.

“Okay” Loki whispered, “Okay”

He carried her to her bedroom, her arms thrown around him and her face hidden on the crook of his neck. Her soft breathing sending shivers down his spine. He laid her on the bed carefully, and when he was about to leave she held his hand. Ask me to stay, Loki said, but Jane’s hand let go of him a few seconds later.

“Goodnight, Jane Foster”


	6. In her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the Two-Part Halloween Special Chapter.

Jane’s head was killing her. She hadn’t even drank that much the night before but she was a lightweight, like Darcy said. When she woke up she was in her bed, in her bedroom, she had a vague memory of slapping Loki and then the man taking her to her bed. She felt bad.

She looked at her nightstand, the clock was marking 9:36 a. m. meaning she was late for work. More than late. She was so fucking late. Jane stood up so rapidly that she felt dizzy, took the fastest bath ever recorded in human history and left the apartment without even saying goodbye to Loki.

He was an adult anyways, he could manage. Hopefully he would remember to feed Catsby and won’t burn down the house trying to cook himself.

She arrived very late for work but luckily for her, her first class was just starting.

Jane didn’t like her job very much. Not only because all the other teachers being older didn’t take her seriously, but because it reminded her of her own college years. She had been a very lonely girl. Even back in highschool.

She finished her classes by noon, just in time for lunch, she thought about going back home to eat but she remembered hitting Loki the night before and he was probably still pissed. She picked the papers from her desk while the students left the classroom, that was when another teacher, Lorelei, entered the classroom.

“You were late today” She said, raising an eyebrow to Jane.

“I know, I’m sorry I went out yesterday and-“

“How great” Lorelei interrupted, putting her hand over Jane’s face, Jane hated that, “How’s our dear Erik?”

Jane continued picking the papers, “He’s fine, his birthday was yesterday and-“

“How great” The woman said again, “Darcy told you about the Renaissance Halloween Ball?”

“Yeah, she got me this costume-“

“How great” Lorelei smiled, that fake smile she liked giving Jane every now and then… Always, “You going alone”

And the way she said it, as if it wasn’t a question, made Jane clenched his jaw. She was about to say something when the classroom doors opened.

“Jane Foster, I finally find you”

Lorelei and Jane both turned to the door, where Loki appeared. He was wearing a suit that looked great on him. He also looked agitated as if he had been running. Jane didn’t miss the look on Lorelei’s face.

“Did you run here?” Jane asked dumbly.

“Stairs” Loki said simply, he had said something about hating elevators before.

“Who is this handsome man?” Lorelei asked with a smirk on her face.

“I’m-“

“My date for tonight” Jane said, before her tongue could connect with her brain, she immediately regretted it when Loki scowled, “for the party I told you about” throwing at Loki a pleading glance.

Lorelei snorted cruelly, “Jane-“

“Loki” Loki introduced himself, “Jane’s… Date”

Jane let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding. Lorelei looked at her and she smiled nervously.

“Pleasure” Lorelei smiled at Loki, “Lorelei Gibson” she said.

Loki sighed turning to her, “I came to take you to lunch”

When Jane was sixteen she was invited by the most popular guy in highschool for lunch. She had never talked to him and he had ignore her existence until that day. Turns out it was nothing more than a cruel joke played by her classmates.

“Jane Foster” Loki called, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Huh” Jane blinked several times, “Lunch?”

“Lunch” Loki repeated, “Together”

“There’s a terrific restaurant a few blocks from here” Lorelei smiled, “I could-“

“How great” Loki cut her mid-sentence, “Let’s go, love” he smiled at Jane. It was a smile that made her heart beat faster.

Jane and Loki walked away leaving Lorelei in shock. They left running and started laughing like teenagers who had done something they shouldn’t have.

“That was amazing!” Jane said breathlessly once they were outside of the building, “Can’t wait to tell Darcy”

“You are welcome” he said.

“You are going to have to go to the party with me” Jane added, “I mean I could say you were-“

“It will be my pleasure, Jane Foster”

She stared at him for a few seconds and then smiled, “It’s just Jane”

They walked to a restaurant near by, Jane noticed Loki’s posture was a more relaxed one than the first time they had been outside. Also, he was rather chatty, he even talked about the weather. The restaurant was packed but they were able to get a table after waiting a few minutes.

“This is good” Loki mentioned, taking a sip from the soup he had ordered.

“Told you” Jane smiled, “Where did you get that suit?” she asked curiously, Loki was wearing a well fitted three piece suit that she didn’t remember Erik owned.

“Darcy’s partner got it for me”

“Oh” Jane smiled, “Did he drive you from the apartment too?”

Loki nodded, “Must I say, his driving skills are almost as bad as yours” he grinned and Jane snorted.

“So… Darcy promised to get you a costume”

“Costume?”

“Well, yeah, it’s a costume ball” She said, “You know people dress up and dance like-“

“I know what a ball is” Loki huffed.

“You’ve been to any?”

“Yes, I have” Loki nodded, taking a sip from his coke, “My fath- Odin, threw many parties like that” he said, “You?”

Jane shook her head, “I don’t really… party”

Loki nodded, “You have a costume?”

“Darcy said she got me one too”

 

* * *

 

 

After thirty minutes complaining and changing her mind about going, Jane finally left her room. She was wearing a white medieval dress with wings attached in the back. Darcy squealed.

Jane couldn’t stop turning to try to see the wings, “The wings are too much”

“Nah!” Darcy said, “You look like my little guardian angel” she pinched Jane’s cheek.

“You look great, ladies” Ian said smiling widely, Darcy and him were both dressed as a queen, and the king of hearts, similar to the red queen from Alice in wonderland.

“We have to move our butts if we want to get there on time!” Darcy said looking at the clock on the wall, “Let’s take a picture”

“No pictures” Jane asked.

“For Erik! He said he needed prove you were going out!” Darcy smirked making Jane laugh.

“Get together girls” Ian said, taking the picture, “Dr. Foster, smile”

“Just Jane” Jane said rolling her eyes, “Dr. Foster makes me feel old” she smiled and then Ian took the picture.

“Jane Foster” Behind them Loki appeared.

He was wearing medieval men robes, with black and deep red details. It took Jane a few seconds to realise he was wearing a devil costume. Darcy whistled.

“Devil costume?” Jane raised her eyebrow.

“You are going together, I thought it was a good idea” Darcy shrugged, “Now I see it was a great idea!” She patted herself in the shoulder.

“Let’s get going!” Darcy said clapping Loki’s shoulder.

Darcy left the apartment with Ian. Leaving Jane and Loki alone. She stared at him for a few seconds. He did look good.

“You cut your hair” Jane said.

Loki took his hand to the nape of his neck selfconciously, “A little trim”

“You… you look very handsome”

Loki nodded, “Thanks”

They heard Darcy honk a few times and Jane chuckled, “She’s going to leave without us, let’s go” She was about to leave when Loki grabbed her wrist.

“You look beautiful, Jane Foster”

She looked surprised about him being honest for a fraction of second. He then smiled at her and kissed the back of her hand, his eyes looking into hers. It was the most innocent kind of kiss, yet it felt like the most intimate thing someone had done to Jane in a long time.

“Just Jane” She said, “Plain Jane”

“Not tonight” Loki said, “Not ever”

He smiled softly at her and then walked towards the door, turning to her with a raised eyebrow. Jane smiled to herself and then walked passed him, She ignored Darcy’s questioning look when she couldn’t stop smiling all the way to the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how I imagined Jane's costume  
> http://tracyscostumingworld.weebly.com/uploads/1/0/0/9/10094326/4957625_orig.jpg
> 
>  
> 
> Darcy's  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4c/48/e0/4c48e0c39a9bc632181350080c82d0cf.jpg


	7. This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the Two-Part Halloween Special Chapter.

They arrived to the party thirty minutes later. Loki noticed immediately that Jane looked overwhelmed by the crowd, she had already told him that she rather stay at home and watch a movie. Loki wasn’t very comfortable himself and there was a lot more people he could stand, but the fact that they were all dressed in flamboyant garments made him feel like he could go unnoticed.

“This is an all hallow’s eve celebration?” Loki asked Jane.

She chuckled and nodded, “Why?”

“It’s not… quite like I imagined” Loki said with disdain, he wasn’t complaining he was just a little surprised, “It has become a night of frolic, where adults wear costumes and run amok”

Jane laughed out loud, “This is an annual thing Darcy’s boss does” she explained him, handing him a glass with punch, “She’s obsessed with the renaissance era” Loki nodded, holding the glass, it looked like red wine but it had pieces of something in it, “She dresses as the queen and sits on that throne over there” she giggled.

“She looks like she’s old money” He mentioned looking around.

“She is” Jane nodded, taking a sip from her drink, “You don’t like it?”

“It has something in it” Loki wrinkled his nose.

Jane chuckled, “It’s sangria, that’s just fruit” she said, “There’s a table with food if you want to eat something”

Loki nodded.

“This looks very alike to the banquets people offered me” He mentioned when he saw the table full of food, even the pig in the middle of the table with an apple in its mouth brought him memories.

“People offered things for you?” Jane asked grinning.

“Let’s not forget, dear Jane, I was a God” He raised an eyebrow to her.

“I like it more when you are just Loki” She said, her smile growing wider.

He couldn’t help but smile, “I guess I do to”

Jane looked like she was about to say him something else when loud music filled their ears. The band had apparently just arrived, dressed in costume and with instruments that looked straight out of a time machine. But the songs they were playing were more contemporary.

“Do you want to dance?” Loki asked, to low for her to listen.

Jane looked at him puzzled, “What?” She asked, her voice barely audible over the loud music.

Loki leaned towards her, “Would you dance with me?” he asked again, When he pulled back Jane nodded.

She left her drink on the banquet table and Loki offered his hand. It was a slow song, and Loki thought their proximity would make Jane uncomfortable but she looked rather happy. He liked to think happy was the word. He put his left hand on Jane’s waist as she rested her hand on his shoulder.

“Have you danced like this before?” Jane asked, Darcy had told her that given that it was a renaissance ball they insisted in dancing accordingly, “Darcy made me learn a few steps”

“Of course I have” Loki said, “I am very old, Jane”

“How many?”

“What?”

“How many years have you lived?” Jane asked

“Too many to count”

Jane stared at him, “Must be lonely” She said, “Living for so long”

“Something like that”

“Loki” Jane said, “Why did your mother asked for you to be sent here?” She asked.

“A failed attempt to fix me, I believe”

“I don’t think so” Jane said, and Loki frowned, “I don’t think you need fixing”

Loki looked away, like not wanting Jane to look at him in the eye. She then remembered he was now human. Just like her. Being immortal for so long and have that taken away from you must be hard for him. having to think about death. She let him be and instead focused her attention on something else, her eyes falling on his hand holding hers.

“Your hands are big” She said, Loki chuckled.

“You already said that” He said.

She chuckled nervously, so that hadn’t been a dream, “I’m sorry about that”

“You slapped me harder the first time” He added, remembering their first meeting.

She laughed and he held her closer, tighter. His big hand spreading a warmness on the low of her back. The slow music was coming to an end and Jane felt disappointed. She looked up at him and he looked at her. If he leaned she could kiss him.

The short distance between them was driving Loki mad. Her warm body against his was making him lose control. But he couldn’t. Could he? He could lean and just kiss her.

Yes.

Yes.

The music stopped and quickly changed into a faster one. People started clapping and dancing joyfully. Jane looked at Loki who was looking around, looking rather confused. Suddenly, a man grabbed her hand and a woman grabbed Loki. He let go of her hand and Jane looked at him apologetically.

“He’ll be just fine!” the man said.

It took Jane a few seconds to start dancing accordingly. The man twirl with her and then grabbed her waist, lifting her up a few seconds. Jane laughed and continued dancing. Darcy passed next to her and blew her a kiss, while she took Loki now. Loki wasn’t lying when he said he had danced, he lifted Darcy and then turned her, changing partners as he went.

Loki remembered similar dances during the old times, less glamorous than this one but equally fun. Fun. Something he hadn’t have in centuries, he searched for Jane in the crowd and found her smiling widely, carelessly. He smiled, as if her happiness was his happiness.

It was then, while he looked at her among the crowd and the music disappeared, when Loki’s heart felt as if it was beating again. The wanting to hold her tight, to be with her, next to her, and to kiss her and treasure her.

It was love.

Jane connected her eyes with his’ ignoring the rest of the crowd. Something in him had been calling her, ever since the first time she touched him. She smiled at him as the crowd left the dance floor and walked towards him, feeling as if she was floating or her feet were moving alone. Orbiting towards the sun that was Loki.

The ride home was quiet. Except for Ian who kept saying how amazing the night had been. Ian left them at Jane’s apartment, Darcy promising to call her in the morning, that if she didn’t wake up with a hangover. She winked at Jane and then waved at Loki, who was standing in the door already.

“You two have fun!” Darcy giggled.

“You are impossible, Darcy” Jane said and rolled her eyes affectionally.

Darcy drove away leaving them alone. All of sudden Jane felt nervous, it reminded her when her prom date had left her at her house afterwards. He was a nice guy, but he didn’t like Jane. He left that clear when she leaned to kiss him and he pulled away, chuckling nervously.

Her hands were shaking when she put the key in the lock. Loki put his hand over hers and helped her.

She still could feel the warmth of his body over hers when they reached her apartment. She couldn’t understand the tingle that went through her body, from her toes to the tip of her fingers. The way she looked at Loki now. He wasn’t a criminal, a monster as everyone else thought. He was smart, polite, gentle towards her and even funny. This Loki was hers.

Jane then panicked at the thought of losing him. An unpleasant feeling on her chest, as if a hole had taken place there and was swallowing everything inside of her. the elevator doors closed and Loki looked at her and offered a, strangely enough, shy smile. Something in his eyes that made her feel like everything was alright suddenly and she then saw everything so clear. Oh, god, she loved him. And it wasn’t terrible at all.

She smiled back at him and the clouds in his sky of mind dissipated, the sun that was her smile shinning bright, brighter than the shiniest star, giving him comfort. And, oh gods, he loved her.

When the elevator doors opened Jane held his hand for a fraction of second before leaving the elevator. He stared at her from the same spot while she opened the doors and disappeared inside the apartment.

He searched for her when he finally entered the apartment. A faint light seeping through the barely opened door of her room. He hesitated before opening the door slowly, finding her infront of her mirror. The view of her naked back as she undid the back of her dress made Loki swallow audibly.

“A little help?” He heard Jane say.

He nodded and walked towards her, his heavy boots making the loudest noise in the room as he stepped against the wooden floor. When he was finally behind her, he was brave enough to ghost his fingers against her spine, enjoying the way she shuddered. He undid the rest of the dress slowly and when he finished, she held the fabric against her body, before letting it fall.

And then he saw it. The mark. He touched reached for her shoulder, wanting to badly to touch her. To feel her naked skin under his fingertips. He ran his fingers over the peculiar mark on her shoulder. A birthmark, perhaps, that looked so familiar. A star.

“Jane” Loki whispered, and for a second her reflection in the mirror looked afraid, afraid Loki would reject her.

“It’s been there always” Jane explained, feeling a tingle where Loki was touching, “I… I kind of like it”

Jane said something but Loki didn’t listen to her. His mind traveling towards the recurring dream he had have since he first touched Jane. The voice he thought was familiar guiding him through the gardens of his old home, the white dress flowing with the wind as she followed the star.

The gods had given him a glimpse to his destiny. Jane.

“You” Loki whispered, and Jane turned to him.

He kissed her before she said anything else. His lips against her lips, and then his tongue entered her mouth exploring the insides. Words weren't going to be able to describe what neither of them were feeling. Having her in his arms made him feel finally complete. She held from his shoulder as he undressed as fast as he could, wanting to be touched by her, to feel his skin against her skin.

They fell into her bed naked, their legs tangled between sheets and pillows as the thirst for each other grew stronger and stronger. He ran his hands through her naked body and kissed her breasts.

She clawed his back when he entered her, all of him deep inside as the heat of her body surrounded him. She panted and looked into his eyes. And she could have been offered to see the billion stars and billion of galaxies and it would have been nothing.

Jane was his’ and he was Jane’s. As it was meant to be.

When he finished inside of her, she followed. His hot breath against her neck as he pulled out, leaving her to feel empty. He smiled and laid next to her. How could she feel empty when he was now next to her. She was never going to feel empty again, she was never going to feel alone again, because they were both now complete.

“I’m afraid we have broken a few rules” Loki whispered, “Not me naked, not me in your room”

Jane laughed and he kissed her again. She rest her hand on his chest. She ran her fingers through one of the many scars that were there. It took her a few seconds to realise they were so familiar. She closed her eyes and drew them in her mind, all the constellations she dreamt about, the ones she had thought impossible were there, Loki was wearing them like scars.

“Fights I lost… some I won” Loki explained, holding Jane’s hand selfconciously, “They are horrible” he added.

“They are part of you” Jane said, “I love them” and she kissed one of them, one of the bigger ones in his right pectoral.

“Do you believe in soulmates, Jane?” he asked.

For a seconds he thought she had fallen asleep, “I believe there is someone right for everyone” She said quietly, “I think… I think I am for you”

“I think you are for me” Loki whispered.

“And I don’t think you need fixing”

“Jane” Loki whispered, “If you’d had me… I would like-”

“Yes” She said and hugged him tightly, “Yes to everything”

 

* * *

 

 

The were fast asleep when the phone rang. Loki grunted and Jane stretched her arm to reach for it.

“Yes?” She said, she sat rapidly on the bed and Loki did the same, “Dar- Darcy slow down, slow down, what happened?”

Loki examined her face as it changes from a confused one, to a concern one. The faint blush so much of Jane’s cheeks disappeared and she turned pale in a matter of seconds. Loki noticed she fisted the sheets, he knuckled turning white.

“What’s-“ Loki asked and Jane put a hand on his shoulder.

“Ok, ok, I’m on my way” Jane said and she hung up.

She stood up and started looking for something. Clothes. Loki stood up and reached for the pajama pants on the floor. When Jane started dressing quickly he frowned, following her with his eyes. She looked upset and agitated. She sat next to him and slipped inside her shoes. He put his hand on her tight.

“Jane, tell me what happened”

She sobbed and held him tight. It took a second for him to return the embrace. When she finally looked at him, her eyes where filled with fear.

“It’s Erik”


	8. We are just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of suicidal thoughts and euthanasia.

Jane felt horrible for leaving Loki like that, but the way Darcy’s voice was shaking when she picked up the phone made her skin crawl, the brunette had never sounded like that before. Scared, helpless.

As soon as she entered, Ian was there waiting for her. He guided her to the third floor where Darcy was. She and Ian were both still in their costumes, Darcy hugged her when she saw her.

Darcy had received the call ten minutes past midnight. Erik Selvig had been taken to the nearest hospital after he was found walking alone outside in the middle of the night by one of the guards, he tried to hurt the man before being sedated, he was out of danger once the clock had marked three a. m. but the doctors insisted he stayed for evaluation.

“I don’t understand” Jane said, after Darcy finished explaining, “We saw him a few days ago, he was fine” She shook her head, “I don’t understand” Jane whispered.

“The doctors say that is normal with someone in his condition” Darcy said, “Becoming violent is part of the final… the final stage of-“

“We can get him help” Jane said, “We-“

“He’s not going to get better Jane” Darcy said.

Something inside of Jane twisted. She shook her head softly, her throat feeling too tight to swallow down the tears threatening to leave her eyes.

“Erik Selvig’s family?” A nurse approached them.

“Yes” Jane said, blinking away her tears.

“You can go now” She said nodding at them.

She entered the room, the faint sound of the machines monitoring Erik sent shivers down her spine, Erik didn’t deserve to live like he was, losing himself little by little. She walked towards him, finding a seat next to his bed. Erik looked pale, sick, as she held his hands, so cold against her warmer ones, Jane knew he was not going to make it.

She cried then. Harder that she had ever permitted herself to cry infront of other people. Erik Selvig was a part of the small group of people Jane had left and she loved him, but in a few months he was not going to be able to remember her or himself. She held his hand tighter between hers, taking them to her face, as she sobbed hard. Erik then squeezed her hand back softly.

“Jane” his voice made her look up at him, his eyes struggling to stay open.

“Hey” She did her best effort of a smile, “Hey, I’m here”

“Jane” he repeated, smiling softly at her, “How are you?”

“I’m-” She said, “I’m good”

“Good” he chuckled, “That’s good”

Jane smiled at him and stood to kiss his cheek, running her hand through his face while she squeezed his hand with the other. She wanted to ask how was he feeling but she knew the answer.

“I’m sorry, Jane” he said all of sudden.

“No, no, don’t be silly” She said, “Don’t talk about it now”

“I’m not getting any better” he continued, “I don’t want to… to keep forgetting”

He then smiled. As if they were talking about a whole different subject.

“Darcy said you have someone”

She looked at his hand in hers, “Yeah… I do”

He smiled, “Is he good enough?”

“He is more than enough” She nodded, and she wasn’t lying.

“Good” he smiled.

And then Jane wake up.

Darcy was shaking her shoulder softly. He eyes fluttered open and Darcy smiled softly at her. She was still holding Erik’s hand and the man was deeply asleep.

She had being dreaming of him.

“He’s too sedated to wake up” Darcy explained, “We should let him rest”

Jane nodded and stood up. She left a kiss in Erik’s forehead and whispered a goodbye.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy offered to drive her home, after getting some breakfast. The whole ride was way too silent and Jane felt there was something Darcy wasn’t saying. It wasn’t until the waitress left their plates with waffles that Darcy told her the news.

“What!?” Jane asked, “What the fuck-“

“Listen to me!” Darcy interrupted.

Ian could only looked at both women while they yelled at each other, stuffing his mouth with fruit.

“It’s a place they-“

“You know what he’s asking?” Jane exclaimed, “We are not doing this, we’ll get help”

“No” Darcy said, “This is what he wants, Jane” she said, “He knew he was getting worse and he wrote it in his will”

“There must be something else-“

“But there isn’t” Darcy said looking at her plate.

Neither of them said anything. Darcy then pulled out a letter out of her bag. She slipped the envelope to Jane across the table.

“He wanted to explain it to you” Darcy said, “It’s all there”

Jane opened the envelope with shaky hands. It had been written a little over a year ago, after Erik started showing signs of whatever he had. He asked her for comprehension and then for forgiveness. Erik Selvig wanted to die. To put end to his suffering before he lost himself completely. And apparently he had found the solution for that in Switzerland.

She finally arrived home two hours later to find Loki was sound asleep in the couch, Catsby resting on his chest. She smiled softly to herself and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. She took a hot cup of coffee to her room, pulling out her computer. She felt tired but didn’t want to sleep, her eyes struggling to stay awake as she typed away.

Dignitas was an assisted dying Organization located in Switzerland. It was an option that was offered to Erik when his condition started to worsen and his memory started deteriorating. He had told Darcy via letter and left one for Jane too. Explaining that it was his last wish.

“Jane”

She looked up and found Loki standing on the doorway, “Hey” she said, closing the computer.

He walked towards her and sat next to her on the floor. As if he knew something was wrong he held her tightly.

“He wants to die” Jane said, and Loki understood she was talking about Erik Selvig, “He’s flying to switzerland tomorrow”

“I… I never apologized-“

She kissed him, “Don’t”

“You said it was after New York” Loki explained, “The-“

She kissed him again, “Loki”

“Is he…”

Jane shook her head, “He wants us to go to switzerland with him” she swallowed, “He’s… he wants to die”

“Oh, Jane” He grabbed her hand.

“He asked me and Darcy to go with him” Jane said.

“When?”

“Tomorrow” Jane said, “We are leaving and three p. m.”

“Leaving”

“I will come back” Jane added quickly, “I will come back to be with you” she smiled softly, nervously, “I promise”

Loki stared at her, her eyes tired and offering her kindest look. And he realized how much it was going to hurt him telling her what followed.

“Thor came back” Loki said, not wanting to look at her, “After you left he… he came to give a message”

She frowned, “What?”

Loki kissed her deeply, holding her face with such tenderness that made Jane feel like she was made of glass. When he pulled back he looked pained, his eyes glassy. She kissed his face two, three times.

“The guards of Asgard will come tomorrow for me” Loki said finally.

“But” Jane shook her head, “Your mother-“

“I will be free” Loki said, and Jane let out a breath, a small smile in her lips now, “A free asgardian”

It took Jane a few seconds to understand what he was saying. Loki was being taken back to Asgard. Away from her.

“Heimdall told them” Loki said, “About us”

Oh.

“It’s that a bad thing?”

“Of course not” Loki said, “Not for Thor’s ego” he chuckled sadly, “But not even for that they will let me stay”

“That is not fair” Jane said, pulling away from his touch, “They are taking you away now that-“

“It’s the only way they will let me live” Loki said.

She narrowed her eyes, full of betrayal now, “You want to leave”

When Loki said nothing she stood up, “It’s not that Jane, this is bigger than-“

“You are leaving me too” Jane said, “You-“ the rest of the phrase was unspoken, her throat too tight to keep talking.

Loki stood up and held her, “I don’t want to”

“Let me go!” Jane pushed him.

“They will never leave me alone!” Loki yelled back, “They will never let me be with you!” Jane shook her head, “I am not enough for you” Loki whispered

“You are a liar” Jane said, making him look at her in shock, “You don’t love me-“

“Of course I do” Loki said, “I love you with everything I am, every fiber of my being lives for you”

When he finished talking Jane was already gone. She locked herself in her bathroom not wanting to listen to him anymore. Not wanting to look into the eyes that weren’t going to be able to look at her anymore. She could hear Loki still pacing around in her room for a few seconds before leaving, slamming the door close as he left.


	9. I shall not enter his hall with words of fear upon my lips.

He had only felt a heartache two times in long life. When his mother died and Sigyn left, a hole took place in his chest and it swallowing everything inside of him. Still they didn’t compare to what he was feeling as he dressed in his asgardian robes again.

Jane had filled that empty dark place in his heart without even knowing she was born for him and now he was being forced to leave her. Maybe it had been ordered by Thor in blind rage, or maybe by his father, in jealousy of his lesser son finding happiness next to a mortal.

Thor had visited when Jane was gone. He had found Loki undressed, tangled in Jane’s sheets, her sweet smell still on his body. Loki dressed as fast as her could and joined his brother outside, on the balcony.

“One more night, brother” Thor said, not wanting to look at him.

“May I ask why, at least” Loki looked at the sun rising infront of them.

“Father had ordered for you” Thor said, “Do not fear, you are not being incarcerated but-“

“But I can’t stay” Loki finished for him.

“Heimdall had shown us” Thor continued, his jaw clenching, it took Loki a few seconds to realise what he was referring to, “You dared to touch her”

With one huge step he had already pinned Loki against the nearest wall, his hand holding his neck making it difficult for him to breath.

“You were granted stay in her home and still without your magik you managed to-“

“To what?” Loki exclaimed, “Is it so wrong for me to love her or so hard to believe that she loves me?“

Those words seemed to have manage to leave Thor speechless. The rage he had in his eyes seconds before was transformed into nothing but surprise. Thor fisted the front of Loki's shirt.

"Do not lie to me, Loki" Thor said.

“I am not lying!” Loki said pushing him, and there was something like confusion or disbelief in Thor’s eyes, “I am not”

Thor stared at him, defeated, as if Loki's words had manage to convince him enough, “You will leave tomorrow”

Those had been his last words, before Heimdall opened the portal. Thor left leaving him alone again.

He finished dressing and stared as his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing the same robes he had brought with him, his eyes were still his eyes, his pale face was the same, still he couldn’t feel more different. And it was all because of Jane.

Jane who hadn’t left her room since the day before. Jane who felt betrayed and alone. Just like Loki had felt most of his life.

He couldn’t leave without at least saying goodbye to her. Without saying he loved her and telling her it was true, because that’s why it hurt so badly, because it was real. He walked towards her room saying everything he was going to tell her in his head, that he wanted to hold her at least one last time, to kiss her one last time.

Just one more kiss.

Jane was finishing packing. Darcy had told her she was picking her up to go straight to the airport. Their flight to switzerland was in five hours and they wanted to spend as much time with Erik as they could before…

“Jane” Loki’s voice called her from the door.

She turned to him, looking so fragile, so small and so broken. Just like Loki himself.

“If I-“

Jane’s arms surrounded his neck before he could say everything he had been meaning to say. He held her tighter and closer to him, hiding his face on the crook of her neck, inhaling the sweet smell that was only hers. Her tears wet his chest in a matter of seconds and she fisted his cape and sobbed harder.

“Jane-“

“I know” She said, “But it hurts, it hurts Loki”

“It hurts me too” Loki whispered against her hair, “It hurts me too”

“It’s not fair”

“No, it isn’t”

They stayed like that for several minutes until Loki heard his name being call, outside, on the other side of the Street, two asgardian guards were accompanied by Thor and Sif, waiting for Loki. Jane looked up at Loki and held his hand, she wanted to walk with him. to say goodbye to him. but Loki didn’t want to do that to her.

He let her follow him outside, holding her hand tightly and the small present his mother had given him on the other hand. Before they reached the exit, he turned to her.

“Please” Her eyes filled with tears, “Loki”

“Let me leave, Jane, I can’t do this to you”

He thumbed her lips softly, not daring to kiss her goodbye. It was too much, too real… too definitive. He kissed her hand instead.

“I will see you, my lady” He whispered.

If that was the last thing Loki had been planning to tell her before leaving forever, Jane didn’t know. But still, she couldn’t imagine what else could be going through his head, the day before, after making love with him she made a promise to herself to figure Loki out, that was when she though she had a lifetime left with him.

She was standing infront of her apartment door when the feeling of something wrong settled in her chest. Her heart pounding so hard for one kiss, just one kiss. She then turned, running towards Loki.

Loki walked towards his brother and Sif, holding tightly his mother’s present. He had opened it the night before, confused to find out it was a mirror. If it was some sort of inner joke of theirs, a joke they had once had he didn’t remember. He looked at Sif, who offered him a nod when he stood infront of them.

He offered them his hands, to he handcuffed.

“You are no prisoner of us, Loki” Thor said, he sounded calmer now.

“I am going against my will, aren’t I?” he retorted.

“If there was another way-“ Sif trailed off and frowned, her eyes looking somewhere behind him.

He turned to find Jane looking at them from the other side of the street, starting to walk towards him, when his eyes connected with hers, Loki walked towards her.

Two things happened then.

Jane stopped and looked at her right, then at him.

Thor and Sif yelled him to stop.

And when Loki turned all he could see was two big bright lights, approaching towards him way faster than he expected. The last thing he could hear was Jane calling his name.

It took Jane ten steps to reach Loki. She kneeled next to him, holding his hand with one hand, not wanting to touch the other one, where the mirror had shattered. Loki’s eyes looked at her, blinking several times, as if it was hard for him to see her.

“Loki” She said, her voice coming out shaky, “No, no, no, please, no”

Sif exclaimed, “Thor, he needs help”

She could hear Sif and Thor arguing something, while the murmurs and the crowd grew louder and bigger. A warm liquid drenched her hands and Jane sobbed when she realised it was blood. All these blood coming from Loki’s head. She sat on the floor and put his head on her lap.

“Help him” She looked at Thor, “Thor, help him” she begged.

“I- I don’t know how…” Thor stopped himself, “Odin” he said, and he looked at Sif, “We need-“

“Heimdall!” Sif yelled, looking at the skies.

Thor continued, “He needs to be fixed”

“He doesn’t need fixing, he’s not a thing” Jane yelled, “Call 911” she asked around, the crowd starting to react.

“Loki, look at me” Jane said, “Loki”

“’ane…” it was barely a whisper coming from Loki’s mouth

“I love you” she said, her hand squeezing his’, “Don’t do this, don’t leave me”

His eyes traveled from her to Thor and then back to her. She bit her lower lip, which tremble as she tried to stopped herself from sobbing. The last thing Loki did was mouthing and “I love you”.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Loki opened his eyes, he was laying on the floor of his mother’s chambers. Her familiar scent covering every surface.

“You are finally here, love”

He looked at his mother, who was on the doorframe smiling so sweetly at him. He looked around him, searching for Jane, or Thor or even Sif. Something familiar and not confusing like his dead mother smiling at him.

“Mother?”

“Loki” She said and sat next to him.

“I- I don’t… I don’t understand”

“Did you get my present?” She asked.

“The mirror”

“The last part of me on earth” She nodded.

He had read about it before, in some old book he had found at the library. Great magic users were capable of leaving a part of their souls locked away in the most simple objects. The Helm of Darkness, Freyr's Sword, Ichaival, were a few he had heard of.

Frigga kissed his forehead softly, “Sigyn was right” Loki frowned, “Before she died she came to me with a doubt” she started, “She had had a dream of you following someone in our gardens”

“Jane”

“She knew you loved her deeply but it wasn’t her place to be with you”

“She knew about Jane“

“She knew there was someone in midgard, who was going to be born for you” She said, “There is someone right for everyone in the universe”

“That’s why you asked for me to be sent to midgard”

Frigga nodded.

“There were plenty of easier ways to fix me with someone, mother” he said grinning at her, and smiled widely when her laugh filled the room.

Suddenly he heard Thor’s voice far away, as if he was outside of the room they were. He looked at Frigga who looked as if she was already expecting that to happen. His arms and legs were starting to feel numb, too heavy for him to move.

“Mother… what’s…” He felt tired, “… happening”

A heavy trump.

Then two.

Like a weak heartbeat. And then a pained expression settled on his mother’s face.

“You are dying, Loki”

“No” he shook his head as much as he could.

“My boy” She said sweetly, and then looked somewhere on the ceiling, and Loki realised there wasn’t a ceiling… There were clouds. And a bright light was calling to him.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Frigga said.

He had arrived to the doors of Valhalla, he thought, and he must have said it out loud because his mother smiled and nodded. And he was so happy she was in such a beautiful place. But he didn’t want to go. Not yet.

“ _We can fix you_ ” A voice said, but his mother wasn’t speaking to him, “ _We can fix everything_ ”

“Everything” Loki repeated.

“ _We can fix you_ ”

The voices, whoever they were, wherever they came from, were offering to help him, to bring him back from the death. He stared at his mother, so beautiful, so radiant, _so happy_. And then he thought of Jane, his Jane. Who was going to be alone if he didn’t stay with her.

If he accepted, he would be sent back to live in Asgard, an eternity of loneliness, like Jane had told him. And she would be left alone anyways.

The heavy trump, his heart, was now weaker, barely audible.

“ _Make a choice_ ” the whispers again, “ _We can fix you_ ”

“I… am not… a thing” Loki breathed out.

He couldn’t move anymore. He was paralyzed, still he could feel the warmth of his mother embracing him. He wasn’t going to leave Jane alone.

“He… needs… more” He said, and he prayed for the Gods to understand him.

His mother then held him and kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and inhaled Frigga’s old perfume, he smiled softly not wanting to forget how it felt to be hold so warmly by his mother.

And then Loki died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the kudos and the comments! :)


	10. I get so wrapped up in a world where nothing's as it seems, and real life is stranger than my dreams

Jane opened her eyes slowly, the sunlight slithering through the barely open windows from her room made it hard to see. She had that dream again. Where Loki had died in her arms, the warm blood drenching her hands and Loki’s cold hands between hers. She stared at the ceiling and sighed, it had been real. She stretched herself on the bed and yawned. Catsby meowed and she smiled and scratched his head, chuckling when he purred.

There was a knock on the door.

“Jane”

Catsby jumped from the bed and Jane stood up, she opened the door, “Hey” she smiled at Erik.

“Hey” he said, and offered her a cup of coffee, his hands did not longer shook whenever he picked things up, “It’s still warm” he added.

“Coffee” Jane smiled and took the cup, “Thanks”

Erik chuckled, “You are seriously addicted to that”

“Who isn’t?” Jane answered with a twinkle in her eye, “Shit, what time is it?” she said, her voice panicking.

“It’s almost eleven” Erik said, it wasn’t until then that Jane noticed he was dressed, “Darcy’s here, too”

“Give me ten minutes!” She said, she left the cup on her nightstand and started grabbing clothes from the floor.

“Five” Erik shook his head softly with a smile on his face, “Let’s go Catsby” he grabbed the cat and left.

Jane took another quick sip form the cup of coffee and started looking for her bathrobe. She recognize the flower fabric next to her bed lamp and pulled from it, accidentally knocking the cup and spilling the coffe.

She groaned and grabbed a shirt, cleaning the mess, it took Jane a few seconds to realise the shirt was a familiar one. The hideous shirt she had given Loki the first day he arrived. She had been keeping it under her pillow, it was weird and borderline dumb but sometimes she could smell Loki in it.

It had been almost two months since he had… Since he had died in her arms. Thor had insisted he had to take the body back to Asgard. After all, Loki had been forgiven and sent back to his homeland. He was a god the moment he had died, a son of Odin, and as one he deserved a proper burial. Jane never heard from Thor again, and sometimes she stared at the skies wishing Thor would suddenly appear. But there was no reason for him to come back. Much less for her. Her who had fallen for his brother, the man that was considered a traitor.

She blinked a few times and wiped the tear running down her cheek.

“Not now, Jane” she whispered to herself.

She joined Darcy and Erik fifteen minutes later. Erik started to recover a few days after Thor left. And Jane couldn’t help but think that had something to do with it. By the time a month and a half had passed Erik had made an almost full recovery, of course sometimes he struggled to remember things but Jane knew he was going to get much better with time.

“Ian is already in the car” Darcy said, looking at her phone.

Darcy and Ian had become engaged after a few months of dating. For everyone else, it was crazy but Jane and Erik knew that was the way their Darcy did everything and it always worked out for her. Ian’s parents were visiting from London and they were going to make a small engagement party for them.

“How do I look?” Darcy asked, “Do I look like a future bride?”

Jane chuckled, “Not at all”

“Thank God!” Darcy grinned.

Jane smiled and took a sip from her coffee. She turned to Darcy, who had gone quiet all of sudden. The brunette was looking at her, a soft expression in her face.

“How are you?” She asked, and Jane knew what she meant.

“Good” Jane answered after a few seconds, she put the coffee down and grabbed Darcy’s hand, squeezing softly, “I am happy for you” she said, then Erik entered the room, “For us”

Darcy nodded kissed Jane’s cheek and left the apartment. Erik chuckled and then smiled at Jane, she walked towards him and arranged his bow tie. He hated bow ties.

“I hate this things” he said.

She chuckled, “I know” Erik nodded, “You know Darcy told Ian’s parents that you are her father”

“I didn’t know I looked that old” He raised and eyebrow.

“You totally don’t” Jane raised and eyebrow back and they both chuckle, “I’m glad you are here to see this” she added, patting his chest, where his heart was healthily beating.

“Me too, Jane” Erik smiled and held her hand against his chest, “You’ve been… gloomy”

Jane shook he head, “I’m happy” and she hugged him, he returned the hug after a few seconds and kissed her head.

“Is it because of Loki?” he asked and Jane looked up at him, “Darcy told me everything”

Jane pulled back, “It doesn’t matter anymore” she said after a few seconds, “He’s…”

“It will always matter if you cared”

She bit her lip and hugged herself, “He was sorry” she said, “He-“

“I know” Erik nodded, he then clapped his hands and smiled, “Let’s go before Darcy leaves us”

“She would never”

“And I’m not getting in a car with you driving” he added with a grin.

 

* * *

 

 

There was no noise around him, no people murmuring, but he wasn’t in Jane’s bedroom again. Instead he was in another familiar room, big windows and green and gold wallpaper surrounding him. He sat on the bed, his feet touching the cold marble floor.

He was in his room, in his bed, wearing his own silk robes and he was not injured.

The doors opened an a woman entered, the blond haired woman that had been in charge of cleaning his room since he remembered. She looked at him and froze, he lifted his chin defiantly and she left.

He stood up once the doors were slammed closed. His most elegant robes were laid next to him, in a wooden chair, next to them were his boots. Loki dressed, there was something telling him that he was supposed to. And just when he was finished, the doors were opened. And Thor walked in.

“Brother” Thor entered, “You have finally woken”

Loki stared at him and nodded slowly, “What happened?” he asked, “After…“

“You were brought here” Thor explained, “Almost dead”

“Dead” Loki frowned to himself.

“You were unconscious for so long… we didn’t think you would wake up”

Loki backed away from Thor. He looked at his hand and then at Thor, who frowned at him. There was an odd sensation in his chest, and he felt more disoriented that he had ever felt before, even thought it was clearly his room he was at. Maybe that was it. The last thing he remembered was his mother, she smiled at him while she carried him to that place.

“I was with mother” He said all of sudden, and he could see Thor was caught off guard, “in… she said that…” He started pacing around, “I asked them to save Erik”

Thor followed him with his eyes, “Erik Selvig?”

Loki’s eyes connected to Thor’s, “He’s- is he-“

“Erik Selvig is alive” Thor said, “He’s alive and well” he added, “Better than well, he made a… surprisingly full recovery”

The Gods had done what he had asked them. They saved Erik and Jane wasn’t going to be alone. But if that was it, why was he alive also?

“Wait” he looked at Thor, “How long was I-“

“Two months” Thor answered before he could finish, “And no, we hadn’t told Jane you are alive”

Loki stiffened, “What made you think I care?” he asked, not wanting to show weakness infront of Thor, besides, what good would come from it? Jane was in midgard, where he was never going to be able to go back. He then decided he wasn’t going to let them use the love for Jane against him.

“Father wishes to see you, Loki”

With that Thor left. Loki had barely enough time to react before another person entered. Two of them. Guards that were going to escort him to his father, who had asked for Loki’s presence. He walked towards the main hall, this time it was just Loki, Thor, Sif and Odin. There was a small sensation of familiarity, but Loki wasn’t afraid.

“You have been absolved from all your crimes” Odin said, without preambles, “In both midgard and asgard” he added, “But you will remain here for the rest of your eternity”

“Father” Thor said, “He wishes to go back” Loki looked at him.

“Is that so?” Odin said, “You wish to live as a mortal” his tone almost mocking.

Loki stayed quiet for a long time. His eyes traveling to Sif, who gave him a small encouraging nod, and then Thor, who smiled softly as if saying he finally understood. The he looked at Odin, his eyes crinkled in amusement.

“Did earth grew on you and melted you cold heart?” Odin asked, and even Thor frowned at him.

He looked around the room. Heimdall had entered, and was as always observing quietly from a dark corner. He realised what this was about. Jane. He had only been brought to his father to be ridicule, to be mocked. He raised his chin and smirked.

“Don’t be ridiculous” Loki said, and Sif and Thor exchanged confused looks, “If I had to spend one more day there” he huffed, “I had to get myself almost killed for you to finally offer me redemption”

“Then what was it that made you stay for so long?” Odin continued.

“Maybe it was being finally witness of how privileged I am to be a God” he retorted.

“Or maybe it was that mortal woman? What’s her name?” Odin said, and Loki’s mocking grin almost fell, almost, “Oh, that’s it”

Loki looked at Heimdall with the corner of his eye and continued, “I see Heimdall is more than just and observer, he’s also your personal informer“

Loki could see Heimdall smiled softly. Amused, perhaps, for his father’s reaction. His grin had fallen and he accommodated on the throne.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question, frankly?” He said, and Loki just stared, “Do you love this woman?” Odin asked, and he sounded genuinely interested, even Sif and Thor looked curious.

He took his time to answer. He wanted to say yes, he did, he loved her. Why did it matter so much, he didn’t care. But then he saw Odin’s genuine interest. Loki chuckled.

“Any guy that'd fall in love with that mortal ought to have his head examined” Loki said, making Sif chuckle softly.

Odin blinked and then he laughed, loudly, like he had never heard him before, “Now that's an evasion!”

Thor then spoke, “Father I think-“

“She picked herself a perfect running mate – dear Father - the pill of the century! What that woman needs is a guy that'd take a sock at her once a day, whether it's coming to her or not. If Thor had half the brains he’s supposed to have, he'd done it himself, long ago” he continued, amused by Sif and Thor’s struggle to not laugh infront of his father.

“Loki, Do you love her?” Odin questioned again.

“Not even a normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going mad! She's my idea of noth-”

Odin didn’t let him finish, “I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?” he yelled, all jokes aside, and something inside of Loki switched.

“Yes, father, I do! But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screw up myself!” Loki yelled back.

And both Odin and Thor stared at him in surprise. Sif, on the other hand, smiled widely. He ran a hand through his messy hair and looked at the floor, not wanting to look at his father, or Thor. Suddenly, he felt two arms embracing him, Thor had taken two huge steps just to give him a hug. He stayed frozen, his arms hanging awkwardly on each side of his body. He returned the hug hesitantly and then Thor stood behind him.

Odin stared at both of his sons in disbelief before starting to walk away, “I’m afraid, Loki, that you can no longer continue here” he said when he passed by Loki and continued walking away.

“Father” Thor started.

“He had found his place” Odin explained, “And it is not here”

And to Loki, his father had never been so right about him before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dialogue between Odin and Loki was taken from one of my favorite movies "It Happened One Night" a Frank Capra classic with Clarke Gable and Claudette Colbert. Worth Watching.


	11. Where the stars are so close over your head you could reach up and stir them around.

His heart was beating so fast he wondered if Thor or Sif could hear it. For Loki, to hear those words coming form his father’s mouth had made him feel somehow free. Like he had been in chains his whole life and those words were the keys to release him, Odin finally understood that Loki simply didn’t belong with them.

And to him it was also a revelation.

He had spent so many years wanting to fit, wanting to belong there, wanting the throne, wanting to be like Thor, when it wasn’t what he needed at all. He didn’t need approval anymore, not from any of them. He feels a hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at Thor, who is looking at him with that look in his eyes that tells him that he understands now. He is not going to hug him, he knows that they are not really that kind of family, so instead he puts his hand on Thor’s shoulder and nods. Sif is looking at both of them and there is relief in her gaze.

He is taken to his chambers after that, where he stays there for a long time. In part wondering what happens next and in part processing all that had happened already. A few hours later there is a knock on the door, Sif enters the room, saluting him with a polite nod, they stare at each other, not really knowing what to say. Then he sees it, on her finger, a shinny gold band.

“When is the wedding?” Loki asks, genuinely curious.

Sif looks at her hand, “We don’t know yet”

He nods. There is another question he means to ask, the obvious one. So when Sif chuckles and rolls her eyes he shrugs.

“We haven’t told anyone”

“Well, Lady Sif, the ring is a dead giveaway” Loki retorts, “Was the brillant idea my brother’s?”

Sif rolls her eyes, “I proposed, actually”

He cringes dramatically, “Too many hits in the head?”

He raises and eyebrow and she tries to suppress a laugh, her lips curving upwards slightly instead. He then looks away, around the room, he wants to ask how long does he have to wait until he can leave, until he can go back to Jane, then he panics mentally, what if Jane had moved on? What if when he gets there she has no place for him?

“Loki”

He blinks at Sif. She looks serious now, like she’s about to deliver some news he doesn’t want to know about.

“Do you really want to do this?”

He looks away, “Odin said it best, this isn’t my place”

She waits a few beats, “He had spoken to the Elders once again”

Loki frowns, “Why?”

And that’s when Thor enters the room, and before closing the doors behind him he looks outside, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear them He looks bothered by something, borderline pissed to be honest and Sif looks at Loki apologetically. And he knows that she wasn’t suppose to speak to him yet, Loki braces himself and raises an eyebrow to Thor.

“Loki” Thor says walking towards him, “Are you sure you want this?” he asks putting a hand in his shoulders.

Loki tenses, because he had never seen Thor so... Concerned about him. He swallows and looks over at Sif. Thor squeezes his shoulders, needing an honest and definite answer from him.

“I want Jane” Loki says, because it’s true, “That’s all I want”

Thor stares at him for a few seconds and then lets him go. He

“The Elders think that a ceremony is necessary” Sif says, “You are going to drink from the Mortality Cup”

Loki’s breath hitches because he knows what it means. Once he drinks from that cup he’s going to be stripped form all his gifts, he’s going to be erased from the books, his memories will be stolen and he will become a mortal. It also means that he won’t have memory of Thor, Sif, Frigga or Jane. It was witness protection program for the Gods.

“Odin said I belong with Jane, to Jane” Loki says, “He said that I could-“

“The Elders think different” Sif says, “They don’t want to let you go off easily after that stunt you pulled”

Loki looks like he was slapped, “Excuse me?”

“Their words not mine” Sif says defensively.

Thor shakes his head, “They think you planned everything with my mother” Thor’s jaw clenched, “They called her a cheating-“

“I did not!” Loki yells, “Those bastards!”

He’s about to get out of the room when Thor stops him, grabbing his arm and closing the doors again.

“I know that” Thor says, “The thing is they think that you did”

“They said that it was a disrespect” Sif adds, “We know you didn’t Loki, nor you, nor Queen Frigga”

Loki licks his lips nervously, “If I drink from that…” he looks at Thor.

“Your memories disappear… Jane disappears” Thor finishes, “I know”

Loki chuckles bitterly, walking towards his bed and sitting, “Isn’t that tragic?” Sif looks at Thor and then at him, “God falls for a mortal, God wants to become mortal to be with her and things go complicated”

He runs a hand through his face and hair tired. He should feel angry, he should feel pissed about the fact that this is so unfair. Instead is sadness what he feels, and that is somehow so much worse.

“Say that again”

He lifts his gaze towards Thor, who had asked him to repeat something. Frowning Loki looks at Sif, who looks as confused as he does. Thor though, is looking like he discovered fire.

“What?”

“Say that again, Loki, about becoming a mortal”

“That I wanted to become one-“

“for Jane” Thor says, “Loki you love being a God, your magik, immortality, you- you were willing to leave all that for Jane”

“I love her more than any of that” Loki says.

“I think he left that clear, Thor” Sif says, “What is so-“

“Does she love you?”

Loki blinks, “She does” and maybe he shouldn’t talk for her but he knows she does, she has to.

Thor looks at Sif and then they both look at Loki.

 

* * *

 

The party was great. There was way more people than Darcy had told her she had invited but no one had tried to make awkward small talk with her or invited her to dance, so it was good. She claimed a table near the bar, since she had been planning on drinking herself to death. Still, she had only two glasses of wine and a piece of cake. Erik, who had been taking to a woman all night, sees her and walks towards her.

Jane smiles at him as he sits next to her, a glass of champagne in his hand, the third one he had poured himself. He sighs heavily and smiles at her.

“Who was that?” Jane asks, talking about the woman who Erik was talking to.

“An old colleague” Erik says, “She asked me out for drinks”

Jane makes a “oohh” noise and chuckles.

“Are you having fun?”

“Not as much as you” Jane says, taking a sip of wine.

He smiles, “Jane”

“The part is nice”

Erik nods. He then stares at her and taps his fingers on the table.

“I heard you quit your job in the university” Erik says.

She bites her lower lip and looks away.

“Why did you do that?”

She shrugs, “It wasn’t really a job, I was more like covering for you, right?”

“Jane”

“I felt boxed, okay?” She almost yells, she sighs heavily, “I want to do something else with my life, I want to travel, to go other places, to watch the stars just because I can, not because I’m studying them… to just… leave”

She didn’t mean to break down like that, maybe it had been the wine, she hadn’t drink much but she was a lightweight, Darcy always said that. Erik, instead of scolding her, is smiling when she looks at him.

“Why don’t you?” Erik says.

She looks away and shrugs, “I couldn’t leave you” she answers, “Or Darcy, or Catsby!”

Erik laughs, throwing his head back. She frowns at him and presses her lips. The man then grabs her hand and squeezes it softly. He looks at her with kind eyes and sighs heavily, like he’s about to say something he had said so many times.

“Jane, I don’t need you to look after me and neither does Darcy” Erik says, “What you need to do is go out and live… just live” She feels like crying all of sudden.

“How?”

“You’ll figure it out Jane, you always do”

“What if I get scared and want to come back?”

“We will always be here” He says.

They both look towards the dance floor, where Darcy was dancing with her future in-laws. The woman looks at them and grins widely, waving at them. Jane and Erik wave back and then Darcy goes back to dancing. Jane remembers having a similar conversation with Darcy, it was actually the only thing she talked to her about since Loki, after she spent weeks locket in her room. She excuses herself with Ian’s parents and walk towards them.

“Shit! They love me!”

Jane chuckles, “Who wouldn’t?”

Darcy shrugs, “You are totally right” she grins.

“Jane quit her job” Erik said, Jane slaps his shoulder softly.

Darcy’s eyes go wide and she looks at Jane, “Fucking finally!” She says, “That job was killing you!”

Jane shrugs, “I guess”

“She’s going to travel for a while” Erik continues and Jane groans.

Darcy stands from her chair and hugs Jane’s head tightly. Jane chuckles and hugs her back, because Darcy looks genuinely happy for her, and why wouldn’t she, they were friends, sisters and she felt Jane was finally doing what was going to make her truly happy.

“I promise to feed Catsby and Erik on daily basis” Darcy says.

Jane laughs.

Since the ceremony is outdoors the loud sound of thunder crashing through the skies is audible and everyone can see the dark sky turn clear for a second. Darcy pouts.

“They said that it wasn’t going to rain today” Darcy says, taking a sip form Erik’s champagne.

But Jane knows what that sounds means. She stands up and looks up to the sky, Darcy and Erik look at her and then exchange concern looks. Darcy stands and puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Jane, let’s go inside”

“But-“

“It’s not him, Jane” Darcy says, because she knows that look on her face, it was the same look she made for two months every time she heard thunder.

“Yes, Darcy, It’s him”

She runs outside, followed by Darcy and Erik. Both trying to make her go inside, while the sudden rain falls on them.

“Jane, let’s-“

Darcy stops talking once the reach the entrance. And is no surprise that Jane is right. There, in the rain, in the middle of the street, Thor is standing with Sif. Next to him Loki is looking at Jane and just at Jane. She sobs, somehow smiling at the same time, when her eyes meet Loki’s eyes. Darcy looks at Erik, who’s smiling softly, like he knew this was going to happen. Sif pushes Loki’s shoulder like telling him to go to her and he complies, Jane on the other hand, can’t move.

Loki stands a few feet from her looking her like a thirsty man looks at the waterfall. And that’s how he feels.

“You are looking beautiful today” He whispers, still she can hear him.

“Dude” Darcy speaks, “We thought you-“

“I was” Loki nods, because he was actually dead.

Jane walks towards him and slaps him. To everyone’s surprise, including Loki’s.

“It’s my fault, Jane” Thor interferes, “We didn’t know if he would make it, so we thought we were saving you from hurting even more”

But Jane is not paying attention to him. She’s still looking at Loki. Suddenly, while her tears mix with the pouring rain, a smile splits her face. Because Loki, her Loki, the one standing infront of her, looking completely confused, is real.

“It’s really you” She says.

“Oh, Jane”

Loki pulls her into a hug. An embrace that felt like home, an embrace that felt so good and right. She’s crying when he pulls back to take a look at her and still she manages to look beautiful. He kisses her forehead, her nose, her cheeks and then their lips meet in a passionate kiss. He pulls back and looks at her, she caresses his cheek, pink where she slapped him.

“You have got to stop greeting me like that” Loki says.

And Jane laughs. The rain stops after that, without them realising it. Loki is explaining her about the trip to Heaven with his mother and about Erik. Thor interrupts a few minutes later.

“Loki, we have no more time” Thor says.

He nods and then looks back at Jane, “Jane, there is something else”

“What?” Jane scowls.

“Look, Odin allowed me to be with you, but the Elders, very importan-“

“A bunch of assholes want to erase his memory so he can become a mortal but not be with you because, well, they are assholes” Sif says, “So we sneaked him out and now he’s on the run”

“Again” Loki adds.

Jane nods, not really caring if he’s considered a criminal for escaping to be with her.

“Holy shit, that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard” Darcy says.

“Jane, if you don’t want to come with me, I’ll understand, you have a life here and friends and-“

“She doesn’t have a live! Go with him Jane!” Darcy yells.

Jane looks at Loki, “Is that what you are asking me? To run away with you?”

“It wasn’t my plan to ask you to elope once I came back” Loki says, “But it was definitely my plan to ask you to spent the rest of our lives together” he adds, “So if you’d have me-”

“Yes” Jane says, she kisses him, “Yes, Loki, yes, to everything”

Sif has two leather bags and gives one to each. Jane looks at her and then holds her hand, running her thumb against the Golden ring she’s wearing. Sif looks at her and Jane smiles, hugging her tightly.

“I wish you the best” She says.

“Me too” Sif says, “I put several dresses your size, some pants, boots, shoes and a dagger” She says, “In case this one gets difficult” She puts her hand on Loki’s shoulder the man huffs.

Jane then looks at Thor and they hug, “Thank you, Thor”

He smiles against her hair, “Be happy Jane”

Jane turns to Erik and Darcy. The old man is smiling at her, a proud smile that made Jane feel like they are not saying goodbye but until later, Darcy runs towards her and hugs her, crying against her cheek. She pulls back and stares at the both of them.

“Call me whenever you can” Darcy says, “Or text, or write, or send me a god dammed owl like in-“

“Harry Potter” Jane finishes and Darcy smiles, “I’m going to miss your wedding”

Darcy waves, “Ian and I got married like three months ago in Vegas, I was just buttering up the in laws”

“Darcy!” Jane exclaims.

Erik laughs, “Classic Darcy”

Jane turn to him and hugs him tightly, “I will see you”

Erik nods, he pulls back and cups her face, “Go watch the stars, Jane”

She nods and then Loki is holding her hand. On his other hand he has a Golden compass, it looks old, and when he opens it it looks different than any other compass he has seen. Inside, it looks like it has a galaxy. Sif explains that is a Travelling Compass, only a few exist,with it they could go wherever in the galaxy they wanted in a matter of seconds.

Sif and Thor join Darcy and Erik a few steps back. It was the oddest group of people and Jane was happy to call the family. She feels Loki squeeze her hand and she looks at him, he looks back at her, a mixture of fear and joy in his green eyes.

Her brown eyes look at him and she squeezes his hand softly. That’s when he knows he must not fear, because Jane Foster is letting him now that she was going to walk the line for him, with him, while they travel the universe together, while he shows her the stars and the moons, always there for her. Always together.

And it feels just like heaven.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any grammar mistakes!


End file.
